My Loot, Your Tears

EDIT: For your pleasure, video action of this kill. You can blame Charismatic for not locking on the Raven until the very end. :P

It’s 0800 UTC, which means Dodixie’s population is down to 200, and finding any good mission runners is difficult. Captain Charismatic hits a home run and finds us a Raven pilot in a Worlds Collide mission. What a…. ‘nice’ name, obgyn kANOBI.

obgyn shoots wrecks, so we proceed to sit on top of his NPCs and grab loot as he kills them. When he eventually warps out, we warp out too, right back onto the entry gate. Sure enough he arrives moments later. Our plan works! He locks me and fires.

So here’s where things get hilarious. I tell Charismatic to keep obgyn kANOBI occupied while I get the Gank Abbadon. As it turns out, I warp to the wrong station in Dodixie. TWICE. Charismatic wins my personal “Diversion Tactics Hero” award for keeping obgyn occupied by chatting with him, for the 12 minutes it takes me to get the Abbadon, warp back, and burn to the next gate.

[ 2010.02.01 07:31:25 ] obgyn kANOBI >
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:31 ] Captain Charismatic > that wasn’t very nice
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:44 ] obgyn kANOBI > why hes red
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:51 ] Captain Charismatic > :(
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:54 ] Captain Charismatic > Because he looted
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:58 ] obgyn kANOBI > tell him to come back
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:04 ] Captain Charismatic > and get shot?
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:27 ] obgyn kANOBI > plzz im really bord…ill buy u a new ship =)
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:28 ] Captain Charismatic > just go do your mission
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:35 ] Captain Charismatic > let us help
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:39 ] Captain Charismatic > :)
[ 2010.02.01 07:33:10 ] obgyn kANOBI > ummm ok mabe we should gang up ? lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:33:25 ] Captain Charismatic > :( you just wnna shoot me 2
[ 2010.02.01 07:33:50 ] obgyn kANOBI > sure i hate empire…..used to living in 0.0 =/
[ 2010.02.01 07:34:25 ] Captain Charismatic > ah
[ 2010.02.01 07:35:11 ] obgyn kANOBI > might b looking 4 a pirate corp 4 some low sec fun
[ 2010.02.01 07:35:39 ] Captain Charismatic > lowsec is awesome
[ 2010.02.01 07:36:21 ] obgyn kANOBI > yea every friggen alliance i get into ends up sucking balls..so fuck em want to fuck with plp
[ 2010.02.01 07:36:33 ] Captain Charismatic > same
[ 2010.02.01 07:36:56 ] obgyn kANOBI > i podded some fucker talking shit in jita it was soooo funny
[ 2010.02.01 07:37:09 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:37:33 ] obgyn kANOBI > hay man if u guys want salvage i aint gunna fuck with you’s
[ 2010.02.01 07:38:10 ] obgyn kANOBI > just leave me a few bs’s to salvage
[ 2010.02.01 07:38:22 ] Captain Charismatic > ok
[ 2010.02.01 07:39:11 ] obgyn kANOBI > fuck i keep forgetting to turn hardners on
[ 2010.02.01 07:39:25 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:39:58 ] obgyn kANOBI > im stoned…><
[ 2010.02.01 07:40:03 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:41:56 ] Captain Charismatic > :)

Having previously scanned his Raven, I know he’s LOL-fit with Heavy Missiles and a pure passive tank. But even I am shocked how fast he dies after I get a point put the heavy lasers on him. Killmail is here.

Here’s him just before KABOOM; notice how much damage I’ve (not) taken!

Another fine action photo from Captain Charismatic Gank Photography, LLC:

Our very unfriendly Jedi provides some tears for us, in private:

[ 2010.02.01 07:42:19 ] obgyn kANOBI > ahhh
[ 2010.02.01 07:42:35 ] Captain Charismatic > POOOOOOOF
[ 2010.02.01 07:42:54 ] Captain Charismatic > woosh rite?
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:03 ] obgyn kANOBI > what a fag way to kill me let the rats do it rofl
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:05 ] Captain Charismatic > DOn’t shoot ninjas next time.
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:14 ] obgyn kANOBI > yea hang on ill brb
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:35 ] obgyn kANOBI > oh yea suck my cock and thanks for giving me a reason to dec your dumb ass
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:46 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:51 ] Captain Charismatic > Bring it on :)
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:56 ] Captain Charismatic > More people to shoot at

And then in local:

[ 2010.02.01 07:46:29 ] Khalia Nestune > Mr kanobi is not a very good jedi.
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=9336808
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:02 ] Shaloth > Lol where did that happen? xD
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:14 ] Khalia Nestune > right here, about 5 minutes ago =)
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:27 ] Shaloth > what kind of a raven set up is that xD
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:33 ] Khalia Nestune > failraven
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:37 ] Shaloth > LOL
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:44 ] Shaloth > i just noticed the heavys on it WTF?
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:51 ] Khalia Nestune > it’s the new thing to do
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:52 ] Shaloth > even more fail
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:52 ] obgyn kANOBI > hay these fagget “pirates” Captain Charismatic and his gay bunch of merry men can only kill u if your shields are down from rats
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:59 ] Khalia Nestune > he had some racing stripes on it too
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:16 ] Captain Charismatic > LOL
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:20 ] Brusanan > With that fitting I’m surprised the rats didn’t kill you before they got there
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:22 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > some1′s having a bad day :(
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:29 ] obgyn kANOBI > yaea u guys pwnd me
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:35 ] Captain Charismatic > Your raven took less than a minute to get wtfpwned
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:37 ] Khalia Nestune > I love you too, kanobi. Let’s be friends.
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:37 ] Captain Charismatic > WTF is that
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:39 ] Khalia Nestune > CAREBEAR HUG
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:46 ] obgyn kANOBI > xoxo
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:47 ] Captain Charismatic > CAREBEAR STARE
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:53 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > how did you manage to lose a raven handsome ?.
[ 2010.02.01 07:50:16 ] Captain Charismatic > Lol, man…. you actyually believed me and kept talking…. 12 minutes!
[ 2010.02.01 07:50:26 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > canflip ?
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:03 ] Captain Charismatic > And yes kenobi, crying in local will get you places
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:09 ] Khalia Nestune > Yes, Charismatic gets the Diversion Hero award for keeping oblivious kenobi occupied until I got back with the gank
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:22 ] Khalia Nestune > Lolita: shot at me after I looted his mission wreck
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:23 ] Captain Charismatic > rofl
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:30 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > omg lol.
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:53 ] Captain Charismatic > man I’m lolin ghard
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:54 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > obviously ebayed.
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:24 ] Khalia Nestune > We sat on his BS rats when he tried to shoot his wrecks
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:37 ] Khalia Nestune > So when he warped out, we warped back on the gate and waited for him
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:44 ] Khalia Nestune > And sure enough, he shows up moments later
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:48 ] Captain Charismatic > THen he came in and shot khal
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:56 ] Captain Charismatic > and I convo’d and kept him blabbing
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:58 ] Khalia Nestune > Shoot a few useless heavies at my vigil
[ 2010.02.01 07:53:05 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > if ships were a measure of skill, he should be in a little t1 frig like me ;)
[ 2010.02.01 07:53:12 ] Captain Charismatic > While khal went to the wrong station :P
[ 2010.02.01 07:53:17 ] Khalia Nestune > ah ha he ragelogged!

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 3:26 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.