Archive for May, 2011

Corp Theft Trick: The Long Arm of the Orca

Posted in The More You Know on May 17, 2011 by paul

So you’ve gotten your infiltration alt into a victim corp. They’ve got Orcas in space which you intend to bump out of the shield and into the hands of your waiting Orca pilot. Upon opening the SMA, you also see a small fortune in T2 and T3 cruisers. Your problem is that, being a pathetic Drake pilot, you can’t fly most of them out. You are left with the annoying prospect of having to bump each ship out, or bumping the Orcas within range of the SMAs so you can drag ships across.

Or are you?

It turns out that you can move ships from one SMA into another even at extended ranges. So right-click on the Orca and open the ship bay, then drag ships from the POS-mounted SMA to the Orca. Note that this trick doesn’t work in reverse, so once you move ships out to the Orca the only way to move them back is to pilot them and stow them manually, or bump the Orca within range of the SMA. If you can’t pilot the ship, make sure you want it to be part of the Orca load before you make a one-way move.

Rumor’s Eve Design Corp

Posted in Behind the Scenes on May 17, 2011 by paul

I was recently contacted by Eve pilot Rumorhasit, who asked if he could do a new banner for his favorite griefer blog in exchange for some publicity. I was happy to oblige!

The new header you see above is the result of his work, which he completed with only the input of “I dunno what I want, maybe a Tengu pewing a Golem?”

Rumor is a graphic/web designer in meatspace and has started a design service for which he charges ISK. He can do graphics work or web design for your blog or corp. After seeing his work, I highly recommend contacting him!

Now THIS is how you make a recruitment video!

Posted in Duffers on May 17, 2011 by paul

The stolen Eve trailer video combined with screenshots taken with a camera pointed at a monitor combine to create a mosaic of awesome unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Also, posting with the same account as used for wedding video really adds a depth of meaningfulness that is lacking in so many video channels these days.

Found while watching the recruitment channel for victims.

Find more terrible Eve corp recruitment videos, and share them in the comments.

Minor Corp Theft: Wormhole Engineers (1bn)

Posted in Capers on May 15, 2011 by paul

I know I’ve been neglecting the blog. I won’t apologize. Take that!

The other day I had a few hours to kill and went checking on some of my long-dormant infiltration accounts. There was one character that had been part of Wormhole Engineers for about five months. I had discovered when I got into the corp that they had a pretty good arrangement: The Greater Realms alliance had about half a dozen corps, and on joining you were assigned to one of them. This meant that their losses would be limited to only a fraction of their total holdings in the event of a bad apple. After I joined with my newly-created alt I got sidetracked by other things. Eventually I stopped training that infiltration alt, changed the API keys, and rolled another scanning character on that account for another project. Well, when I checked in I found that there were a few T2 cruisers, some faction frigates, and a bear-load of Drakes. Oh well. It doesn’t look like they’re going to grow very much from here, so I might as well grab what I can, right?

Wormhole Engineers lives in a high-level wspace system — either a C5 or C6, I don’t remember. Like many corps, they take comfort in knowing that a thief would have a hard time moving ships all the way out to hisec. Unfortunately for them, I’m a relatively accomplished scanner. Even with this alt’s crappy scanning skills, I scanned four jumps through wspace into a hisec system in about half an hour. I made off with two Basilisks, two Nocti, a few drakes, and a bunch of fittings. Sure, it’s an eight-jump round-trip for each ship, but I did it while watching a movie. Scouts? What for? They’re not my ships, so what do I care if I get jumped in a relatively cheap stolen ship? There were a few corp members on, but they appeared to be AFK and never said anything.

Now, you might be discouraged when you join a victim corp deep in wspace only to see that you only have access to a hangar full of Drakes. Do not despair! The trick is to board each drake, strip all the T2/meta modules into a can, rename the drake to “stripped”, and move on. Oh, don’t forget to destroy all the rigs, just in case. If you do this efficiently you’ll spend no more than your 30-second session change timer on each ship. I found more than one Drake fitted with ‘Arbalest’ Heavy Missile Launchers. Each such Drake you find is worth 70M in fittings alone, not counting the hull itself. One Drake had T2 rigs and two faction BCUs. Facepalm. I also stripped and renamed all the battleships in the hangar. Yes, you can self-destruct the battleships for insurance money, but it’s going to be very clear on an API check who did it. I like plausible deniability.

Wormhole dwellers are frequently very clingy about their ships since theft is such a frequent issue, so leaving a SMA full of stripped and renamed hulls is almost as bad for corp morale as leaving an empty one. It usually isn’t long before the finger-pointing begins, and everyone wants to grab a ship to replace the one that they had “stolen”. Eventually, there are more people taking ships than there are ships left. In my experience the resulting drama can take any relatively weak corporate leadership into emotional structure pretty quickly. Will Wormhole Engineers fail as a result? Who knows! I never spent any time online talking to anyone.

I transferred all my loot to an Orca/Freighter alt in-space, so my API shows nothing. I figured I’d get about 500M out of my throwaway Drake alt, but ended up with just over a billion ISK. The nicest find was a member’s anchored can in space, full of advanced skillbooks and a dozen Quafe Zero. Theft of limited-run items, best theft.

Wormholey Fun: 5ksBone’s Army

Posted in Capers, Delicious Tears, Wormholes on May 3, 2011 by captain

So about a year ago I made an alt with the intention of diving headfirst into wormhole life. This alt was then used as an afk mining alt, then as an infiltration alt…. You know, what happens every time you start an alt for one purpose – you go “oh, he could do this too…”.

So anyway, the incredibly unlikely thing that happened was after being finished with infiltration work, I resumed trying to find a wormhole corp for him. I located one, jumped into their public chat, and started talking. To my great surprise, one of the members from the corp that alt had infiltrated was now in this one.

Fast forward a few months and somehow I still got a place in that corp, and it’s becoming almost a second main character.

So anyway, last night I scanned out a C1 for our logistics to haul stuff through and possibly go have some fun in. Well, no luck for the haulers – lowsec static 7 jumps from highsec and 39 from Jita, yikes. But, in scanning that out, I found a few pos towers which appeared to be research fitted, a few ships floating about in the bubbles, and about 12 combat sites.

Myself and a corpmate decided to run the sites to make a bit of ISK, since the locals weren’t around and a lowsec static meant there wasn’t much else to do. We grabbed a Cane and a Drake and were soon working through the sigs. A couple corpies log on and off and come do a site or two and leave, then our CEO logs on and brings in his own drake. We’re about halfway through the 12 sites when the locals seem to come online and realize they’re being raided. Naturally, they give us a panic reaction:

[ 2011.05.03 03:36:44 ] BabyBear 1950 > oh boy!…fresh meat!

Normally this is just a scare tactic used to shoo people away, but I’m not going to leave, so I said hello. 🙂

[ 2011.05.03 03:37:18 ] Captain > 0/
[ 2011.05.03 03:37:49 ] Captain > Nice young char there.

[ 2011.05.03 03:45:23 ] 5KSBone > lets party
[ 2011.05.03 03:45:35 ] 5KSBone > you guys from next door?
[ 2011.05.03 03:47:46 ] Captain > Party? Where?
[ 2011.05.03 03:48:11 ] 5KSBone > customs office IV
[ 2011.05.03 03:48:15 ] 5KSBone > 🙂
[ 2011.05.03 03:48:30 ] 5KSBone > your active hardeners will work well here
[ 2011.05.03 03:49:09 ] 5KSBone > you guys should ask permission to steal from SKS
[ 2011.05.03 03:49:19 ] Captain > Lol
[ 2011.05.03 03:49:28 ] Captain > Maybe when we’re done.

I had sensed bearishness from his 1v1 request. His comment about my hardeners was a bit off, as the wormhole system had no hardener benefits. I wasn’t quite sure what he was on about, and I’m not quite sure that he knew either. At this point they scan us down….with core probes. Yeah. They warp in a drake at point blank and insta warp it out right after I start shooting at it with my cane.

[ 2011.05.03 03:50:46 ] 5KSBone > just getting names bud
[ 2011.05.03 03:51:03 ] 5KSBone > we farm this whole
[ 2011.05.03 03:51:12 ] Captain > Right
[ 2011.05.03 03:51:13 ] 5KSBone > its not ready to be harvested
[ 2011.05.03 03:51:22 ] Captain > Well we farm it too 🙂
[ 2011.05.03 03:51:23 ] 5KSBone > not enough sites yet
[ 2011.05.03 03:51:54 ] 5KSBone > if you run them now it will damage the respawn rate
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:06 ] Captain > That’s cool.
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:11 ] Captain > We’ll have a new one tomorrow.
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:22 ] 5KSBone > in the next wh over huh?
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:37 ] 5KSBone > i will be there
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:41 ] Captain > With what?
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:50 ] 5KSBone > with a note book
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:55 ] Captain > Your drake that instawarps out?
[ 2011.05.03 03:52:56 ] 5KSBone > and a cloak
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:02 ] 5KSBone > rapier
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:12 ] Captain > Feel free to uncloak once in a while
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:25 ] 5KSBone > << just an alt
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:35 ] Captain > Preferably at the pretty pos too
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:48 ] Captain > everyone’s an alt.
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:50 ] Captain > This is eve
[ 2011.05.03 03:53:52 ] 5KSBone > i will stay for a few weeks and figure the best time to destroy your pos

Woah there. I read a blog post once which I believe was in Confessions of a Wormhole Killer that talked about how and when to smack talk people. One of the things it mentioned was that if you’re under a year old in-game, don’t do it. After that, only do it if you’re sure you can win. Threatening me with the destruction of our POS isn’t a very good way to get on our goodside, my good sir.

[ 2011.05.03 03:54:15 ] Captain > I ask again
[ 2011.05.03 03:54:17 ] Captain > With what?
[ 2011.05.03 03:54:41 ] 5KSBone > with a tech 3 fleet
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:05 ] 5KSBone > actually the best w3ay is to anchor a pos, then build caps
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:14 ] 5KSBone > takes about 7 days
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:19 ] Captain > mmhmm…
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:26 ] Captain > For what?
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:31 ] 5KSBone > to bash pos towers
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:37 ] 5KSBone > to build naglfar
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:46 ] Captain > Seems like a waste
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:49 ] 5KSBone > SKSBone
[ 2011.05.03 03:55:57 ] 5KSBone > doesnt think its a waste
[ 2011.05.03 03:56:07 ] Captain  > Okay…
[ 2011.05.03 03:56:08 ] 5KSBone > actually sound pretty fun
[ 2011.05.03 03:56:20 ] 5KSBone > that last guys thought it would be a waste as well
[ 2011.05.03 03:56:44 ] 5KSBone > but they paid us 750 million isk to stop bothering them
[ 2011.05.03 03:56:55 ] Captain > That char of yours is a barely skilled cap pilot.
[ 2011.05.03 03:56:57 ] Captain > Big deal.
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:09 ] 5KSBone > in a class one he is very skilled
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:15 ] 5KSBone > no need for the jumps skills
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:23 ] Captain > Lol
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:28 ] Captain > I laugh at your ignorance.
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:31 ] 5KSBone > got the ability to use siege mod and level 5 guns and missles
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:38 ] 5KSBone > 90k volleys
[ 2011.05.03 03:57:47 ] Captain > So does Every. Other. Cap. Pilot.
[ 2011.05.03 03:58:00 ] 5KSBone > yup


Here I look up his corp for the first time in the entire encounter, and realize it’s part of OWN alliance. That alliance Jerks wardecced for like 3 months straight that gave us 3 carrier kills. Yeah. Course while I’m looking things up he’s still foaming at the mouth:

[ 2011.05.03 03:58:30 ] 5KSBone > plus with the drugs that we make i can hit cruiser class ships in siege
[ 2011.05.03 03:58:44 ] Captain > lol
[ 2011.05.03 03:58:45 ] 5KSBone > command ships hics, tech 3 ect
[ 2011.05.03 03:58:46 ] Captain > For what?
[ 2011.05.03 03:58:48 ] Captain > 10 damage?
[ 2011.05.03 03:58:55 ] 5KSBone > very hard
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:02 ] Captain > Sir I challenge you.
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:06 ] 5KSBone > 2 shots kills nighthawks on test server
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:10 ] Captain > Construct a cap in out wh
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:13 ] Captain > please
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:20 ] 5KSBone > head out to tribute
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:33 ] 5KSBone > we have them here
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:34 ] Captain > Yes… a nighthawk standing still… target painted… 20 times over
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:45 ] 5KSBone > no
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:48 ] Captain > With a MWD on
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:52 ] 5KSBone > mabey
[ 2011.05.03 03:59:52 ] Captain > headed straight away
[ 2011.05.03 04:00:03 ] 5KSBone > can hit him turning
[ 2011.05.03 04:00:08 ] 5KSBone > just need this booster
[ 2011.05.03 04:00:21 ] 5KSBone > drop
[ 2011.05.03 04:00:33 ] 5KSBone > with that pill it hits em
[ 2011.05.03 04:00:37 ] 5KSBone > easy
[ 2011.05.03 04:01:02 ] Captain > Go about your business and we’ll go about ours. We’ll be done here in a bit. But please watch who you threaten.
[ 2011.05.03 04:01:19 ] 5KSBone > you dont understand you are stealing from us
[ 2011.05.03 04:01:31 ] Captain > I understand. I just really don’t care.
[ 2011.05.03 04:01:48 ] Captain > Conversation is over though. I got nothing else to say.

Yes. You build a Naglfar in our womhole. Seriously, do it. I’ll even help pay for it. Assuming you can haul all the crap in, set up your pos, and start the build without us dropping a fleet on your head, one dread vs a whole corp is a very bad idea. Meanwhile, they’re busy warping things in on us, trying to pin my cane with their drake seems to be their focus, as they keep warping it in at point blank to me, but I keep warping off as I’m in a PVE ship, and running their sites while they can do nothing but stomp their feet seems like the best way to go. Here the plot thickens a bit:

[ 2011.05.03 04:02:58 ] 5KSBone > are you part of the NC?
[ 2011.05.03 04:03:48 ] Captain > Yes.
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:00 ] 5KSBone > why are you not blue then?
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:07 ] Captain > We went rogue.
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:18 ] 5KSBone > may i ask why?
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:29 ] Captain > They don’t want to kill people who aren’t red.
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:31 ] Captain > I do.
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:45 ] 5KSBone > i kill blues all the time
[ 2011.05.03 04:04:54 ] Captain > Should tell your alliance leader.
[ 2011.05.03 04:05:05 ] 5KSBone > he knows
[ 2011.05.03 04:05:34 ] 5KSBone > how long ago did you defect?
[ 2011.05.03 04:05:47 ] Captain  > bout half a year after they formed.
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:06 ] 5KSBone > it is a very large coalition now
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:15 ] Captain > Ya think?
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:21 ] 5KSBone > there are many reds to shoot at
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:28 ] Captain > Good for NC.
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:34 ] 5KSBone > you dont always have to be sarcastic
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:45 ] Captain > But it’s oh so much fun
[ 2011.05.03 04:06:54 ] 5KSBone > or stuck up or what ever it is that has you with a chip on your shoulder
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:07 ] Captain > Yes, I am stuck up.
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:18 ] Captain > Because I am not the one that threatened caps…. Yeah.
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:22 ] BabyBear 1950 > you must be 12
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:22 ] 5KSBone > sometimes you may find being a nice person has greater reward
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:23 ] Captain > Therefore I am stuck up.
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:33 ] Captain > Not in this case my good sir.

My alt’s corp isn’t with the NC, I have no idea why he asked, as far as I know OWN isn’t with them either. It seems to me he’s trying the typical pufferfish reaction of I’LL BRING A ZILLION FRIENDS TO KILL YOU. It isn’t really working.

[ 2011.05.03 04:07:38 ] 5KSBone > its not a threat b0ud
[ 2011.05.03 04:07:43 ] 5KSBone > you stole from me
[ 2011.05.03 04:08:02 ] Captain > 5KSBone > i will stay for a few weeks and figure the best time to destroy your pos
[ 2011.05.03 04:08:03 ] Captain > Threat
[ 2011.05.03 04:08:11 ] Captain > Not a very good one
[ 2011.05.03 04:08:15 ] Captain > But still a threat

So here is where it gets interesting. The guy warps his Rapier in at about 100km to us at a site. I start burning towards him in my cane, and he cloaks. I redirect back to the sleepers still hitting me, and he warps back in at 20 off me. I get out of point range and stick drones on him, but unfortunately, I have no point, and he warps off. Then, his friend Baby warps his drake in again at 50km or so and starts shooting me.

I tell my CEO in his drake to start shooting Baby’s, and I start orbiting it wide to hopefully speed tank some of the missile damage. But Baby has other ideas. Apparently he’s MWD fitted, as he starts gaining on me. Eventually I warp out at 9km from him and at maybe 2/3 armor. Again because this is a PVE ship, and needs to be handled delicately vs a brick drake. When I come back Baby is also gone, and we continue with the site.
[ 2011.05.03 04:29:19 ] 5KSBone > key word…
[ 2011.05.03 04:29:21 ] 5KSBone > <<alt
[ 2011.05.03 04:30:47 ] Captain > Meh
[ 2011.05.03 04:31:31 ] Captain > Engaging a brick drake with a PVE ship is not what I had in mind
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:10 ] 5KSBone > all we have here is alts man you are lucky
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:16 ] Captain  > Right
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:17 ] BabyBear 1950 > chickenshit
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:17 ] 5KSBone > if i had my main ….
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:23 ] 5KSBone > gf
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:24 ] Captain > Everyone says that dude.
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:30 ] Captain > Everyone.
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:43 ] 5KSBone > this toon flys a rapier with level 3 gus
[ 2011.05.03 04:32:51 ] 5KSBone > my main flys a machariel with level 5 large
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:01 ] 5KSBone > if i had my main dude
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:05 ] 5KSBone > damn
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:06 ] Captain > Means nothing at point blank.
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:15 ] 5KSBone > auto cannon fit
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:20 ] 5KSBone > drop booster pilot

Again with the pufferfish reaction, but this time mentioning shinies. Classic bear move.

0[ 2011.05.03 04:33:49 ] 5KSBone > hre i will invite you
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:51 ] Captain> Look my good sir we can play this game all you want…. at the end, you have a disadvantage.
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:54 ] 5KSBone > to convo with my main
[ 2011.05.03 04:33:59 ] 5KSBone > i want to share the fit
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:00 ] Captain > I don’t care about your main.
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:05 ] Captain > or your fit
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:13 ] 5KSBone > disatvantage?
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:15 ] Captain > You seem to not understand me.
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:32 ] 5KSBone > not really
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:45 ] 5KSBone > dont really care about the sleeper
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:45 ] Captain > I do not care about your main, your alts, your fit, or whatever else.
[ 2011.05.03 04:34:51 ] 5KSBone > just like to mess with people
[ 2011.05.03 04:35:06 ] Captain > as do I
[ 2011.05.03 04:35:09 ] Captain’s corp mate> Well, you’re doing a bad job of it so far.
[ 2011.05.03 04:35:17 ] Captain > I tend to agree.
[ 2011.05.03 04:35:22 ] 5KSBone > alt sux
[ 2011.05.03 04:35:24 ] Captain’s corp mate > So I hope it isn’t your day job.
[ 2011.05.03 04:35:38 ] 5KSBone > lol
[ 2011.05.03 04:36:27 ] 5KSBone > i hope the 100 mill of loot is worth it
[ 2011.05.03 04:36:33 ] Captain > Most definitely
[ 2011.05.03 04:36:37 ] Captain’s corp mate > Worth taunting you for a while? Sure.
[ 2011.05.03 04:36:41 ] Captain > The tears make it so much better.
[ 2011.05.03 04:36:45 ] Captain’s corp mate > In fact, I call it win-win.
[ 2011.05.03 04:36:50 ] Captain > Indeed.
[ 2011.05.03 04:37:08 ] 5KSBone > like i said you are just lucky
[ 2011.05.03 04:37:15 ] 5KSBone > running from my friends alt drake
[ 2011.05.03 04:37:24 ] Captain > I’d give your MWD drake a 3/10.
[ 2011.05.03 04:37:26 ] 5KSBone > to funny
[ 2011.05.03 04:37:33 ] 5KSBone > looks good on fraps though

Seriously? You frapsed a PVE ship withdrawing from a PVP situation? Kay.

[ 2011.05.03 04:37:57 ] Captain > Yup. Because I always win in a PVE cane Vs a somewhat PVP drake
[ 2011.05.03 04:37:59 ] Captain’s corp mate > Oh, well, yeah, definitely fit for that over combat effectiveness any day.
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:06 ] Captain > yup
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:12 ] 5KSBone > you ran away
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:17 ] Captain > Yes, yes I did.
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:20 ] 5KSBone > i have it on fraps
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:24 ] 5KSBone > thats a win
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:27 ] Captain > You seem to still not understand
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:27 ] 5KSBone > you just lost
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:28 ] Captain’s corp mate > Oh noes!
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:33 ] Captain’s corp mate > We lost!
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:36 ] 5KSBone > so your record is a lie
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:37 ] Maeyanie > Whatever will we do!
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:39 ] Captain > PVE < PVP ship in a pvp situation.
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:44 ] 5KSBone > lost
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:49 ] 5KSBone > you jsut got tea bagged
[ 2011.05.03 04:38:57 ] 5KSBone > taste em
[ 2011.05.03 04:39:01 ] Captain > Yes, tea bagged…. by research alts.
[ 2011.05.03 04:39:25 ] Captain’s corp mate > Yup… nobody died, your dozen sites are almost gone, and we’re getting ready to head home and laugh over a few drinks… completely lost.
[ 2011.05.03 04:39:26 ] 5KSBone > you guys miners then?
[ 2011.05.03 04:39:27 ] Captain > I have this funny feeling you’re attempting to justify your failure

They still try the warp in trick a few times, mostly warping in on top of my corp mate in a salvaging destroyer because they can’t seem to hold me down. Oddly enough, they can’t seem to hold the cormorant either.

[ 2011.05.03 04:41:11 ] Captain’s Corp Mate > Honestly, that I had to get all the way down the salvage list before you even found me is a fail… ever heard of these great things called combat probes? Might want to look into them.
[ 2011.05.03 04:41:12 ] Captain > Define fail for me?
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:09 ] 5KSBone > you just failed at being a man
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:16 ] 5KSBone > you poussed out of a fight
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:23 ] Captain > Lol.
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:25 ] 5KSBone > you have clearly explained fail
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:35 ] 5KSBone > you run from caldari when you are minmatar
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:44 ] 5KSBone > i am unimpressed
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:49 ] Captain’s Corp Mate > You know, you might just actually manage to kill me… from laughter.
[ 2011.05.03 04:42:56 ] Captain > I’m really done explaining the difference in PVE to PVP ships sir. You clearly are too ignorant to understand
[ 2011.05.03 04:43:05 ] 5KSBone > lol
[ 2011.05.03 04:43:18 ] 5KSBone > clearly you are a cladri pilot in a minmatar ship
[ 2011.05.03 04:43:30 ] 5KSBone > you need to go back to the counsil
[ 2011.05.03 04:43:39 ] Captain’s Corp Mate > Clearly, you can’t tell the difference between races.
[ 2011.05.03 04:43:54 ] 5KSBone > minmatar dont run from pvp
[ 2011.05.03 04:43:59 ] Captain > What are you trying to do? Seriously? Are you trying to scare me out of the system? Because it is NOT working. Please re-evaluate what you are trying to do.
[ 2011.05.03 04:44:01 ] 5KSBone > so he cant be a minmatar
[ 2011.05.03 04:44:20 ] 5KSBone > are you trying to revaluate me?
[ 2011.05.03 04:44:29 ] 5KSBone > you want some pictures?
[ 2011.05.03 04:44:38 ] Captain > I’m confused.

I seriously was. We all were. Anyone know WTF he’s on about? At this point, my CEO has gone back to our POS and has fit a scrambler, and a disruptor, and a web. We’re also  at the last site, and Baby tries warping the drake on top of me again.

[ 2011.05.03 04:51:40 ] Captain > And.. fail again
[ 2011.05.03 04:52:51 ] Captain > Alright, I’d like to give you a fairly straight forward lesson in PVP.
[ 2011.05.03 04:53:08 ] Captain > One: Use cobat probes to pinpoint a ship so you don’t land 60km away.
[ 2011.05.03 04:53:18 ] Captain > Two: Bring a web so things can’t run.
[ 2011.05.03 04:53:30 ] Captain > Three: Bring a long range point.

As I take the time to type that, I align to the site again, and just as I finish, my CEO calls in fleet that he has worked into point range and is holding the drake with three points and a web. So much for your MWD.

I instantly race back to the site, as our salvage corm runs off to grab a Manticore. I arrive on the scene to see my CEO beating on the drake, lock it up, and engage with everything. About 20 seconds later the Rapier appears at 40km, starts trying to jam and web me, and puts his drones on me. I web and kill each of his hammerheads, and then re-engage on the drake.

The drake falls pretty quick, and I overheat at his peak recharge. Our Manticore pilot is coming through the hole to us, and the Rapier, seeing his buddy about to be vaporized, runs for his POS.

This is when something fun happens. Baby, too ashamed of a crappy lossmail, EJECTS from his drake, and warps off in his pod before I can lock it. I run back to our POS while my CEO holds the drake, and eject from my cane, racing back to the drake.

5 seconds later, and we own a new failfit drake. Seriously, this thing had an anti-em screen, extenders, META 0 LAUNCHERS, and the lows were almost all filled with PDS’s. So much for your DPS, huh?

[ 2011.05.03 04:58:30 ] Captain > You just lost a drake
[ 2011.05.03 04:58:33 ] Captain > Congrats
[ 2011.05.03 04:58:43 ] BabyBear 1950 > so?
[ 2011.05.03 04:58:50 ] Captain > I guess we lost again
[ 2011.05.03 05:00:16 ] Capt’s Corp Mate > Of course. He never fails.
[ 2011.05.03 05:00:51 ] Captain > He appears to be speechless about his success.
[ 2011.05.03 05:01:02 ] Capt’s Corp Mate > I would be too, if I had done something so amazing.
[ 2011.05.03 05:01:07 ] Captain > I know right?
[ 2011.05.03 05:03:43 ] Captain > Know what the best part of that success was? When the Rapier warped off in victory and left his friend to win the day solo.
[ 2011.05.03 05:05:37 ] Captain > I love all the PDS’s you used to fit everything. Not much dps eh?


With that, we finished their 12 sites, and won their drake, which we took home with us. I expressed our gratitude with a final salute:

[ 2011.05.03 05:41:18 ] Captain > Tootles

 

Wormholes are fun, mostly because you never know what you’re gonna find on the other side. The unknown is part of what makes EVE fun, as are the people that play it. In the end, I think our friend 5ksBone and his friend Baby were just two industrialists that got very very mad when we came into their sandbox and left with all the sand and their pretty shovel.