Archive for January, 2011

Limbizquit Loses Faction-Fit Vargur, 500M Ransom to Paul Clavet

Posted in Combat, Ninja Salvaging, Video on January 31, 2011 by paul

(HD up to 1080p available!)


I’m pretty proud of this gank and the associated video. If you’re a ninja who hasn’t trained your scanning skills up, take a look and you’ll see why they’re crucial.

Flying New, Old Flags

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Site News on January 30, 2011 by paul

As you may have noticed in my recent videos, I and Khalia are now back in Suddenly Ninjas.

When I left SN and formed Honorless Internet Jerks, I did so partially because I felt that while SN was the premiere ninja salvaging corporation, there were factors preventing it from becoming a good griefing corporation as well. One of the factors was that we had trouble as a corporation keeping pilots from seeing hisec warfare as what it is: Stupid, pointless, and avoidable.

Another was an element within the corporation who wished to maintain the corporation’s reputation for honor in things like ransoms. This had been a major point of contention between me (then a director) and the former CEO. Even though I eventually got my way in the e-honour debate by threatening to resign over it, I knew that the situation was not ideal and that I wouldn’t be able to explore fully my ideas about what a hisec griefing corp could do.

So I gracefully resigned and set out alone to form Honorless Internet Jerks. I was joined by Eve-BFF Khalia Nestune and other Ninjas. We started living out of Orcas full-time for our ninja work. During wardecs, we simply outran the fleets that were sent to hunt us while continuing our work more or less as normal, to their endless frustration. We declared war on some of the biggest carebear alliances in Eve and murdered their miners and missionrunners when they failed to take us seriously. We took part in suicide ganks of officer-fit bling-boats. When we pinned down an overconfident carebear, we would accept their ransom money and kill them anyway.

At the time, these were relatively novel practices and got us a bit of press. Now Suddenly Ninjas has taken up these once-controversial practices as doctrine, transforming them into a more powerful engine of grief than their founders ever could have imagined. It would be arrogant, even for me, to say that I’ve reformed Ninjas by leaving them for a time. I don’t think that’s the case at all. Rather, I think that what they are doing now is the natural evolution of griefing in the only mass-market MMO that allows and encourages the behavior. Jerks may have gotten there first, but now that Ninjas have caught up, it’s time to get together again.

I’ve made it clear that I’m not rejoining with expectations of any sort of power within the corp. Part of the reason for my departure last time was a feeling that I was overwhelmed by the responsibilities as a director. I may lead an odd NinjaFleet here or there, but the current leadership team is great and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I can’t speak for Khalia, however. He may have tendencies toward maniacal dictatorship that I have not yet discovered.

From the Mailbag: Ronin Noble’s First Gank

Posted in Combat, Mail, Ninja Salvaging on January 30, 2011 by paul

Hey Paul,

I wanted to thank you, over the past couple of months i have been a avid reader of your blog. I always loved the way you would gank mission runners and its something iv always wanted to do, but never really set out to doin it.

until recently…

On Friday i decided stuff it I have nothing to lose, so i decided to setup shop in Dodixie Solar System and bought myself a cane and a probing ship. Friday was pretty slow with no1 biting, but i did encounter a guy that would just run 1 mission, never completing it just farming the rats. No matter what i did he would never target me, eventually he convoed me at we got talking. I played the nice guy with no money and continued to loot his wrecks which he didnt have much of a problem with.

So today i log on and see him in local, so i decided to warp to his bookmark and see if he was there. Luckily he was, so i thought i would change things up and started to “help” him clear the rats. When we were done i targetted him and prayed he had auto target on, BOOM jackpot he targetted me back. I started to orbit him and next thing he opens up on me, but immediately apologizes in chat saying that he thought I was a rat. I start seeing dollar signs and begin to open up on him, had my neuts and distruptor goin. He begins to beg in chat but this was a NAVY MEGATHRON and this was gonna be my 1ST SOLO KILL!! So he starts leaking into hull and i see he starts tanking a little so i start over heating and he shatters into a beautiful white plume of smoke.

At this point im having the mother of all adrenaline rushes and my hands were shaking, i open his wreck and cha-ching:

So big thank you for inspiring me to try this, my 1st solo kill was a navy megathron and he dropped awesome loot valued over 500mil!

Never stop writing and i look forward to reading more of your devilous indevours!

Ronin out!

Video Goodness

Posted in Site News on January 29, 2011 by khalia

By popular demand, we’ve added a ‘Video’ tag to our categories. You can see all your favorite My Loot, Your Tears videos by clicking on the ‘Video’ link on the right hand side under the categories list.

Paul Clavet’s First Three Hulk Ganks

Posted in Combat, Video on January 26, 2011 by paul

I don’t know why I never got around to doing this before. It’s a blast and a great way to burn excess security status!

I’m sure you’ve noticed the Suddenly Ninjas logo in the video. The rumors are true! I’ll make a post about it tomorrow.

Griefer Assinment #1 Completed by Joe Intaki

Posted in Assignments on January 25, 2011 by paul

Joe Intaki was the first to complete the very first Griefer Assignment, and has been awarded the promised PLEX.

He sent me this:

As a strict believer in the edicts of The Scottish Fold, I read about your challenge while at work, and deemed it a good deed. After working unexpected overtime, seething with rage at the miners who have not heard of Paul Clavet, I took things personally. During the hour before DT I moved alts and staged ships, supporting my local businessmen (and women) in Dodixie. Then an extended DT came, my wrath simmered.

Shortly after DT after many minutes of searching, I smelt a stench. The stench of untanked hulks. Who the fuck in their right mind would fly a 200M isk ship with out a proper tank you might ask???

These unbelievers:

I’m glad I had a chance to do a good deed, thank you Paul for the opportunity to do a public service. I just updated my api on battleclinic, so it may take a day for things to update for the glorious green api verified check mark. If you want the fraps of the first, let me know and I’ll upload it to eve files.

-Joe Intaki

Great job, Joe!

Gunbuster Rono donates his Apocalypse Navy Issue to Jerks

Posted in Combat, Duffers, Ninja Salvaging on January 24, 2011 by khalia

Three hours of ninja salvaging had gone by without a single mission runner shooting at me. I was getting desperate. When I scanned down an Apocalypse Navy Issue, I grabbed a gank Hurricane I had sitting around and warped in. Perhaps looting in a battlecruiser would get this guy all hot and bothered. Apparently it did, because he opened fire as soon as I looted.

Unfortunately my Hurricane isn’t a match for a well-fit faction battleship, and I ended up warping out in structure.

I go grab my Sacrilege, and Gunbuster mouths off in local:

[ 2011.01.25 01:05:49 ] Gunbuster Rono > you better run!
[ 2011.01.25 01:09:59 ] Gunbuster Rono > just to let everyone know, Khalia Nestune is coming into missions and looting just so he can get you to attack. he wasn’t able to kill me in his hurricane, though

He’s left the mission but is still in system. I have written his scan id down, like all good probers do, so I scan him down to an asteroid belt. Thirty seconds later I have a point on him. Here begins a long, long battle. I get under his guns, but he turns everything off except his hardeners and pulses his armor repper. My single medium energy neutralizer isn’t enough to entirely kill his capacitor because of this, so we stalemate staying at 100% armor.


Meanwhile, on Vent:

Khalia: “For the love of god, I can’t break this Apoc Navy’s tank!”
Paul: “Should I head down there?”
Khalia: “You may as well, I’m going to be here for a while.”
Paul: “Ok… it’s 16 jumps. Bringing the JerkTengu.”

My next move is to warp in my alts – one in a Basilisk for shield/energy, the other in the Orca. I don’t use the Basilisk right now as I don’t need either cap transfer or any remote repair. The Orca has some junk modules in it from looting, so I locate a small energy neut and fit it up.

The second neut has no effect. I send my Basilisk alt off to purchase a medium energy neut from the next system over. That goes on soon enough, and has zero effect. We’re now at 20 minutes and counting with his tank still not broken.

Khalia: “Paul, where the hell are you?”
Paul: “Getting you another medium neut and some ammo, you ungrateful jerk.”

In local:

[ 2011.01.25 01:36:12 ] Gunbuster Rono > all this time you’ve wasted. you could’ve already found another prey to kill
[ 2011.01.25 01:38:19 ] Khalia Nestune > Patience is rewarded =)

Paul finally arrives, 30 minutes after I’d pointed the Apoc Navy Issue. He drops me a third energy neut – and forgets the ammo of course – and swaps ships with my Basilisk pilot. If Gunbuster shoots Paul when he transfers me energy, Paul can swap back into the Tengu and quickly end this internet space ship Mexican stand-off.

The third medium neut does the trick and his tank breaks. I offer a ransom of 400m, but he’s wise to us dishonoring the ransom. What happens later means we end up with even more ISK than if he had paid ransom!

[ 2011.01.25 01:45:48 ] Khalia Nestune > 400m, or I pop it
[ 2011.01.25 01:46:10 ] Gunbuster Rono > you’re going to pop it anyway
[ 2011.01.25 01:46:15 ] Khalia Nestune > not if you pay

So I continue to shoot him. Then, this happens:


Khalia: “What the hell… did he eject?!”
Paul: “Holy shit, yes he did. Stop shooting!”
Khalia: “Stoped. Can’t board!”
Paul: “Stop targeting it… I’m in!”


Gunbuster gives his 600M Apocalypse Navy Issue to us and we’re just agog about it. It isn’t even a mistake, as he comments in local:

2011.01.25 01:48:40 ] Gunbuster Rono > forget it. you can have the ship
[ 2011.01.25 01:48:52 ] Khalia Nestune > o./
[ 2011.01.25 01:48:52 ] Gunbuster Rono > next time i just wont shoot you
[ 2011.01.25 01:50:03 ] Khalia Nestune > thanks dude!
[ 2011.01.25 01:50:05 ] Khalia Nestune > woo
[ 2011.01.25 01:50:15 ] Paul Clavet > He ejected, we own the ship now


Paul gives me the Apoc Navy, and I give him 100M ISK for his help. I’m still stunned. He had a lot of options – he could have self-destructed, denying us anything. He could have let it die, and we would have gotten some T2 modules. If he had friends, a remote-rep battleship with guns would have ended the whole thing.

Post Note: My girlfriend is a gamer, but she’s not familiar with EVE. The previous night we’re chatting on instant messenger, and I was explaining about mission runner ‘piracy’:

(11:44:59 PM) Khalia’s girlfriend: can’t you steal other people’s ships and have a fleet or something?
(11:45:06 PM) Khalia: ?
(11:45:26 PM) Khalia: not sure what you’re asking
(11:45:44 PM) Khalia’s girlfriend: can you hijack a ship?
(11:45:54 PM) Khalia: not in the sense you mean
(11:46:13 PM) Khalia: you’d have to get the player to eject from his ship, and you’d have to eject from yours and then board his
(11:46:25 PM) Khalia: but there is really no reason to eject from your ship in a fight
(11:47:00 PM) Khalia: we do ransom people (“Give use xxxx $ or we blow you up”)
(11:47:06 PM) Khalia: and then promptly blow them up anyways
(11:47:11 PM) Khalia’s girlfriend: nice
(11:47:41 PM) Khalia’s girlfriend: but I mean, what if the other person’s ship is shinier and you want it. Can you take it if you wanted to?
(11:48:11 PM) Khalia: not really, no
(11:48:49 PM) Khalia’s girlfriend: so you can rob and kidnap but there’s no space piracy?
(11:49:07 PM) Khalia: piracy is blowing them up and taking whatever survives
(11:49:32 PM) Khalia’s girlfriend: that’s what i mean though
(11:49:46 PM) Khalia: can’t get the ship complete tho

Men take note: Anything you tell your girl is impossible, she will prove you wrong.

Boomer2674 and Po Mofo Have a Bad Day

Posted in Combat, Delicious Tears, Ninja Salvaging on January 24, 2011 by khalia

I’m poking around Taru last night looking for some careless carebears, and up pops a Nightmare, Maelstrom and Raven all in one mission. Boomer2674 is by himself in the first room, slowboating to the next gate. I swipe some loot and off go the pop-pop of 1200mm Arties at me.

A minute later I’m back with my Sacrilege and shortly reduce his Maelstrom to scrap . His friends in the Raven and Nightmare have returned by now. As much as I want a Nightmare kill, I can’t tank both it and the Raven, so I go to switch for the Bhaalgorn.

The smack starts up in local:

[ 2011.01.24 03:27:43 ] Boomer2674 > dont run you fucking pussy
[ 2011.01.24 03:28:55 ] Khalia Nestune > lawl
[ 2011.01.24 03:29:02 ] Boomer2674 > keep laughing bitch
[ 2011.01.24 03:29:04 ] Boomer2674 > come get some

The next two minutes are comprised of me warping in, finding them not there, waiting, warping out, warping back in just as they warp out, etc. I kill a few minutes looting Boomer’s wreck and waiting for them.

[ 2011.01.24 03:35:05 ] Boomer2674 > come on pussy come get some
[ 2011.01.24 03:35:27 ] Boomer2674 > hahahah markus 3 volleys and your dead try it
[ 2011.01.24 03:35:42 ] Khalia Nestune > well clearly I wasn’t gonna leave yo loots there
[ 2011.01.24 03:36:08 ] Boomer2674 > not worried about the loot. u can have it, just come back and get your ass kicked
[ 2011.01.24 03:36:32 ] Shadowsoze > ooh i wanna watch the battle
[ 2011.01.24 03:36:35 ] Shadowsoze > where’s it going down
[ 2011.01.24 03:36:45 ] Boomer2674 > it wont go down because he’s a bitch
[ 2011.01.24 03:36:57 ] Khalia Nestune > lawl
[ 2011.01.24 03:37:02 ] Khalia Nestune > you leave just as I show up

So finally I encounter the Nightmare pilot – Po Mofo – on the entry gate, but in an Apoc Navy. Boomer is in a Stabber along with the Raven pilot – in the next room.

[ 2011.01.24 03:38:57 ] Boomer2674 > sit your ass down clown
[ 2011.01.24 03:40:15 ] Boomer2674 > hahaha
[ 2011.01.24 03:40:21 ] Boomer2674 > come on pussy lets do this
[ 2011.01.24 03:40:47 ] Boomer2674 > i saw u on the way in, warp to your friend alread
[ 2011.01.24 03:40:50 ] Alcarius > WHERE THE FUCK AT?
[ 2011.01.24 03:41:13 ] Khalia Nestune > your apoc navy friend ain’t gonna last
[ 2011.01.24 03:41:48 ] Khalia Nestune > buh-bye

I was thinking it might be a decent fight, but he melts rather rapidly. He tried to engage in a PvE fit faction ship? Hard fail there. Also notice the faction Target Painter (on a laser ship?) and T2 fitting rigs! I got four nice faction pulse lasers out of the deal.

Boomer and Raven-guy finally make it back, but won’t engage me, and my agro has run out on them. Boomer cries about me switching ships, and I laugh all the way to the bank.

[ 2011.01.24 03:42:50 ] Khalia Nestune > bring it.
[ 2011.01.24 03:43:17 ] Boomer2674 > ya after you switched ships
[ 2011.01.24 03:43:20 ] Khalia Nestune > any day now
[ 2011.01.24 03:43:33 ] Khalia Nestune > yawn
[ 2011.01.24 03:43:53 ] Khalia Nestune > have fun then
[ 2011.01.24 03:43:54 ] Khalia Nestune > o/

Tearful Taste: Gargonis

Posted in Delicious Tears on January 21, 2011 by khalia

[19:07:20] Gargonis > gimme my loot
[19:07:23] Khalia Nestune > sure
[19:07:25] Khalia Nestune > gimme my 15m
[19:07:30] Gargonis > fu

Griefer Assignment: Gank Three Hulks, Win A PLEX!

Posted in Assignments on January 20, 2011 by paul

This assignment has been completed and the prize has already been given out. Keep an eye out for future Griefer Assignments!

Here’s your assignment:

Suicide gank three hulks. Here’s your checklist for each kill:

  1. An API-verified killmail link from BattleClinic.
  2. Send a mail/convo to the victim stating “Paul Clavet sends his regards!” Take screenshots of either the chat window or the mail in your sent items. If you get ignored, send a mail from an alt.
  3. A short writeup of your adventure, including screenshot links. Tears are a plus!

Prizes you will receive:

  • One 30-Day PLEX.
  • Honorable mentions in Paul Clavet’s Bio
  • Your entry, published on this blog, with a screenshot of your portrait and a link to your blog if you have one.

Multiple pilots are fine, but you’ll need to identify who is receiving the PLEX for the entry. The same pilots must be involved in all three kills.

I reserve the right to change the terms if I feel like you are trying to game the requirements.

The contest starts NOW. Post your entry in the comments to this blog post. The first qualifying entry will be the winner. Additional entries may be published if they are good, but only the first qualifying entry will receive a PLEX.