Archive for September, 2009

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Posted in Site News on September 30, 2009 by paul

Short and to the point: I have resigned my directorship at Suddenly Ninjas and struck out to form a smaller, more mobile, more focused griefing corp, Honorless Internet Jerks.

Right now, I am the only member. Part of the reason for this is that I haven’t advertised at all, and part of the reason is that I’ve made it clear that I won’t be hiring any Ninja until December. This is to keep them from acting in a hasty manner, as well as giving me time to get some distance from Ninjas and figure out how exactly I’m going to structure this thing.

I consider myself to have left on excellent terms at a high point in the popularity and effectiveness of the corp. The war with Deadspace Society ended with at least five corps pounding on them until they lost over 40% of their membership. I am and will continue to be a friend of Suddenly Ninjas.

Why did I leave? In part it was because I had bitten off more than I could chew in the corp, and found myself working to ensure that everyone got along and had a good time so much that I missed the part where I was supposed to get along and have a good time. I want to play this game in a way that will “introduce PVP” to as many carebears as possible, and I believe that the best way to do that is to form a tight-knit small (no more than 20) group of dedicated, self-reliant griefers. I’ll have more details eventually in the form of a recruitment post.

The other bloggers who post here will continue to post, regardless of their affiliation. They are my friends, and do not have to be corpmates to be able to share those great carebear tears.

If you’re a friend of mine and are interested in joining (and are not a current member of Suddenly Ninjas) then I would love to talk to you. Otherwise, stay tuned for more tales of making missionrunners very sad.

jerklogo

The Myrm and the Harby: A Tale

Posted in Combat on September 27, 2009 by khalia

After losing two Vigils this weekend, I was feeling that I needed to blow something up. And I got that opportunity today.

I was doing the usual salvage work in Dodixie, when I stumbled across a mission with four battlecruisers: A Ferox, a Myrmidon, and two Drakes. The odds weren’t looking good for me, so I refrained from looting and cleared the field of wrecks. The runners noticed – the Myrm locked me – but otherwise left me alone. When they proceeded to the next room, I noted the location for later checking and went off to find other hits.

20 minutes later I drop in again, and the directional scanner tells me that the two drakes are gone and the Ferox and Myrmidon remain. The second room had plenty of wrecks but mostly small, so I proceeded to room three. The Ferox and Myrm were slowly looting the remaining large wrecks.

Feeling a little adventurous, I grabbed a nice large blaster out of a wreck and aligned toward a celestial. Sure enough, the Myrm locks me and opens fire. I changed direction and warped off to the Orca being used as the base of operations. In the mean time, my alt in a Covops ship is sitting outside the mission gate.

Back at the Orca, I switch out to my Harbringer, and make a call in Corp and Alliance for help/RR support. Unfortunately it looks like a fleet in another system has ongoing pew of their own and can not assist. I check with my cloaked alt at the mission and see that a few other Ninjas have arrived and are working on the wreck field. Also a Fleet Stabber had warped in and proceeded on; but the Myrmidon is gone, leaving just the Ferox.

What the hell – I warp the Harbringer to the mission. Maybe I can get some pew with the Ferox. I warp to room one… Ninjas picking the field apart. I warp to room two, and by force of habit, hit the dscanner – the Myrmidon is back! He must be behind me. I know he’ll fall right on top of me if I don’t move from the warp in point in room two.

Sure enough, 20 seconds later the Myrmidon pilot warps in right on top of me. I scram and web him, release the drones, engage the lasers and the neut, and hope like hell his fleet buddies can’t arrive in time. He launches drones and starts firing at me.

I’m getting excellent hits, 600-800 damage per volley from my Medium Lasers. His shield melts in a few seconds. Armor damage is less, and he’s actively tanking, but I am slowly breaking his tank. As he gets down to the end of his armor, I overheat the lasers to try and seal the deal. He’s barely gotten through my shields at this point; I’ve taken a few % armor damage. He goes into structure and then it’s all over:

http://tears.evekb.co.uk/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=882389

I collect his drops – some decent T2 mods, T2 drones, and some expensive meta4 guns – and go on my way. I convo him and offer a “good fight” to which he responds apparently as best he can – he’s german.

He later sends me an email titled “i am a noob” with text “congrats on the kill I am not good pvp”.

Good times. Sometimes you take the extra risk and it pays off. If I played it safe, I wouldn’t have gotten that kill.

I’m not particularly surprised.

Posted in Uncategorized on September 21, 2009 by paul

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Blewzmann, part III: Blewzmann loses all, again.

Posted in Combat, Delicious Tears, Duffers on September 21, 2009 by paul

I’m fuzzy on how it started, but somehow we got a few ninjas together in a WT-hunting fleet. Kahega was being camped by three DEADS members, including Blewzmann (also known as “the man with the 2B faction-fit active-tanked drake”) in a Navy Caracal.

I say camped, but Kahega had access to an insta, so he was only waiting there because of the sweet faction cruiser waiting to be plucked.

As the ninjas formed up, it became clear that DEADS was fielding the majority of its PVP force. Most of us were in ships we had at hand, so taking on their blob wasn’t in the cards.

That Navy Caracal, however…

Someone threw out a plan. Could have been me, or Llyan, or Kahega. I don’t remember who suggested it, but we decided that we would do a hit-and-run on Blewzmann’s expensive ship and hope that it had the faction fittings that he was so fond of. In my stealth bomber, I weaved through the station camp, slowly getting close to the Navy Caracal to act as a warp-in. Kahega undocked in a battlecruiser, got the camp to fire (including Blewzmann), and called in the fleet. They landed on me, targetted Blewzmann, and started firing. Being aggressed, he couldn’t dock up. Standing instructions were to warp one’s ship out as soon as it was targetted, so even when their entire force landed on the station we weren’t terribly worried.

We lost a bomber, but we got the Navy Caracal. Take a moment and go look at that Caracal. We weren’t able to get the can, but the hull plus destroyed faction mods were worth over 300 million ISK.

I’d call trading a bomber for a 300M faction cruiser a good deal. The DEADS folks, however, declared victory because we “ran away”. Uh, yeah, I guess killing our objective and GTFOing before their blob can respond makes us the losers.

Here’s some of their amusingly bad smack. Read it or skip it at your leisure.

Nicely done, ninjas.

Hawkiee > have no idea about fight, ur weak,
Paul Clavet > we weren’t engaging the rest of you
Black Scorpio > so you engage only a part of us?
Paul Clavet > just your stupidly expensive faction cruiser
Hawkiee > because ur scared
Black Scorpio > i don’t understand
fr3aky > i think that was oretty obvious paul, please dont state the obvious
Kahega Amielden > of course you don’t understand
Hawkiee > i understand
Paul Clavet > I call it a win
Hawkiee > i would be scared too
Khalia Nestune > Manticore Loss: 60M or so
Hawkiee > u would bar b q
Khalia Nestune > how much ISK we won by: 10 to 1
Kahega Amielden > that’s 20 to 1, Khalia
Scipio Thutmose > but you guys sure taught us a lesson
Khalia Nestune > oh was the manitcore even less? nice
Kahega Amielden > wait
Kahega Amielden > Dunno, what was the manti fit with?
Kahega Amielden > might be right. Either way, amazing
Hawkiee > im sure a small thing does amaze a simple mind like yalls
Hawkiee > we r still here,
fr3aky > anyway nice to see u all made an effort for once. til next time, lets say next week same time then?
Hawkiee > where yall hiding again?
DEKOright > i am a noob, what career shuld i chose?
Paul Clavet > Ninja Salvaging!
Khalia Nestune > if you can fit more faction-fit Navy Caracals? sure thing =)
Emizeko Chai > makes lots o money
Hawkiee > u need to learn to run b4 u can be a ninja
Paul Clavet > Run after killing your objective 🙂
Hawkiee > that is there 1st class they have to pass
Paul Clavet > very ninja
Khalia Nestune > Total Loss: 48,954,920.00
Khalia Nestune > so 49M to 632M ? sweeeet
Hawkiee > u look at isk again, seeing how we got it back,,, let me tell u again,,, this is not an isk war, its a war that will end when ur corp is no more
Paul Clavet > lol
Khalia Nestune > heh
Kahega Amielden > More competent pilots than you have tried and failed
Khalia Nestune > We’ve never heard that before!
Paul Clavet > how much money do you have left to lose?
Blewzmann > plenty
Hawkiee > more then u can take
Blewzmann > i have atruse fund
Blewzmann > so there i can fri3434 with you all year lond dd head
Hawkiee > 5 of us,, 11 of yall, come on
Blewzmann > im already for some more biat
Blewzmann > me and u the rpaula
Emizeko Chai > meth is a hell of a drug
Scipio Thutmose > i am spending my inheritance on internet spaceships
Hawkiee > i would not know
Hawkiee > tell us about it..
Blewzmann > yeah but im still ghere
Emizeko Chai > i would ask blewzmann, he’s the one who looks like he’s typing by banging his tear-streaked face on the keyboard
Marmilax > Or his tears have gotten through the rubber membrane and is short circuiting all the conductive traces on there
Blewzmann > lol
Paul Clavet > Real ninjas use IBM model M keyboards
Emizeko Chai > nothing gets thru his rubber membrane dude, his mom makes sure
Blewzmann > man i ma laughing dude
Paul Clavet > because of all the tears that we get
Marmilax > I know I have a model M
Scipio Thutmose > ;-; all my purchased isk! i hate you ninjas! your corp must die
Blewzmann > yall finalyy got some balls
Blewzmann > i love it
Marmilax > I love balls
Marmilax > I think you do too
Blewzmann > in ur moputh
Emizeko Chai > hey this navy caracal had truck-nutzTM attached!
Blewzmann > yeah i know
Marmilax > That was implied…
fr3aky > i tell u back in the day rubber membranes did not exist, all keyboards had individual microswitches. esp the really old ones 🙂
fr3aky > clicky keyboards ftw
Marmilax > Freaky I’m starting to like you more and more
Emizeko Chai > yeah, it annoys me but me too
Paul Clavet > I <3 clicky keyboards fr3aky > 🙂 like i always say its only a game, makign it personal in this game is just not a good thing.
Paul Clavet > You’re a smart man
Paul Clavet > smarter than your smacking corpies
fr3aky > if ur not having fun u might as well unsub
Paul Clavet > right
Emizeko Chai > otherwiswe you’re just paying to do a job!
Paul Clavet > As they say on the forums: THIS IS GAME
Kahega Amielden > o/ deads
Paul Clavet > TOUCHDOWN
Jimmy Aitch > it is? damn…
Blewzmann > wwaitng on the feild goal
Blewzmann > field
fr3aky > r u coming back btw, i need to plan my night 🙂 i got films to watch 🙂 i dont want to do an afk’ing meccross on u all.
Paul Clavet > have a good night
Black Scorpio > Paul the killjoy 🙂
Paul Clavet > heh heh
Paul Clavet > 🙂
Hawkiee > i would be ashames if my corp mates ran like yall do,
Paul Clavet > Running was the orders. “Kill the faction ship, then get out before their blob gets here”
Hawkiee > and u paul, u ran bettre then them all
Paul Clavet > I’m a ninja. I appear, strike, and ninja vanish
Paul Clavet > why do you think eve is about e-honor slugfests?
Hawkiee > its called running u winnie washer
Paul Clavet > We had a plan going in. We accomplished the objective and left.
Vohzd > pfff
Hawkiee > only plan yall have is run
Hawkiee > as every1 in here can see, we r here, come on back,, show every1 what a bad ass corp yall r,
Paul Clavet > Undock another 600M ISK cruiser 🙂
Paul Clavet > Why would we engage your blob?
Blewzmann > i did come on out
Blewzmann > u fool i told u already
Hawkiee > yall hire a merc corp to hunt us down, and we cant tell them from yall, always running, always hidding.
Paul Clavet > I dunno who hired the mercs
Hawkiee > yall did
Paul Clavet > assuming they were hired by us at all
Blewzmann > pauline caome on it little girl
Hawkiee > no assuming to it
fr3aky > they seem very friendly with certain members of ur corp paul, one must put 2 and 2 together.
Paul Clavet > Blewz, leave the smack to people with the capability for abstract thought, please.
Blewzmann > come on dude
Blewzmann > me and u
Blewzmann > by ourselvesd
Blewzmann > chicken shirt
Hawkiee > u can fight, so u hire some1 to do it for u, and they hide as much if not more then yall, its a sad day in eve
Blewzmann > man i cant type my pain med kicking in lol
Gloriaa > your own site says you honar all 1v1
Paul Clavet > It does?
fr3aky > i mean we dont really care as we seem to spend most o time camping them in till they get somethign thet cant lose with, but hey same old same old, but nvm, its more flashies for me to keep control of.
Gloriaa > Blewz just called you out
Paul Clavet > And we have to accept 1v1s with blobs?
Hawkiee > lol they left system, runing again
Marmilax > There’s a complaint section for when someone dishonors a 1v1
Paul Clavet > We destroyed our objective and left.
Paul Clavet > heh heh
Blewzmann > yeah look how many it took
fr3aky > ofc not paul no one would expect that, but hey safety in numbers…
Marmilax > There’s no requirement to accept them or to trust someone enough to behave honorably
Blewzmann > u cant do it by urself guARNTEE
Hawkiee > aww BAr B Q.. u did nothing but run.
Blewzmann > u talk the talk
Blewzmann > that is it punk
Hawkiee > its good u do it so well, because u will be running from now on.
Gloriaa > yes but thanks to eve and him gettinp popped right beside me he got most back
Blewzmann > i called u out bring what u want
Blewzmann > my friends will not interfere because we are good people not scavengers like u
Paul Clavet > Well, nobody’s perfect I guess
Hawkiee > o well, it didnt take them long to learn to run,
Blewzmann > urright paul now bring your imperfect butt over and lets talk me and u and a dog nameb blew
Paul Clavet > Hey
Marmilax > Hawkie running is a prerequesite
Paul Clavet > my butt is perfect
Blewzmann > oh eally
Blewzmann > wow nice to know
Hawkiee > best thing u can do is go back to ur alt and run ur mouth in local in emol paul, only thing u r good for.
Marmilax > Hawkie, that dude in emol is a real dude
Marmilax > I chatted with him and he was hilariously angry at you
Hawkiee > yea, im sure
Black Scorpio > lol
Blewzmann > allright had fun at least yall did come and play alittle
Marmilax > We had som much fun at his ceasless smack not even realizing you were station camped
Blewzmann > but if u ever grow up paul and want to play in mt sandbox call me out ok
Hawkiee > this is what we have to do seeing how yall only dock,
Paul Clavet > We played in your sandbox, did what we came to do, and left. Sad you missed it. 🙂
Hawkiee > run around in cloaked ships,
Marmilax > I can’t even fit cloaks?
Marmilax > goddamnit
Blewzmann > my sandbox
Blewzmann > not theirs
Hawkiee > u will soon, only safeway for yall to move around anymore,

She just doesn’t understand me like Eve does

Posted in When RL Invades on September 15, 2009 by paul

I forgot to mention that while I was wtfpwning Joa’har, I had an audience. My wife had come in to the room to ask what we should do about supper.

Paul: Hey, what’s up?
Mrs. Clavet: You hungry yet? What do you want to… hello?
Paul: Yeah, hold on a minute. I’ve got aggro and I’m about to ambush this carebear.
*Paul warps in right on top of the enemy Abaddon, locks, scrams, and falls into a 10k orbit*
Mrs. Clavet: Is he shooting you?
Paul: Not yet, I wonder if he’s… there he goes.
Mrs. Clavet: What are those angry red squares?
Paul: Those are his drones. Mine are the blue ones. The lines are his lasers shooting me, and you can see my missiles every few seconds.
*Joa’har is already in structure. A few seconds later, he pops.*
Paul: Got him.
Mrs. Clavet: That’s it?
Paul: That’s it.
Mrs. Clavet: Not very exciting. Pretty, though.
*A few seconds pass*
Mrs. Clavet: Potatoes?
Paul: Potatoes will be fine.

Blewzmann, Part II: Impotent Ragetears

Posted in Delicious Tears, Duffers on September 14, 2009 by paul

Kahega received the following Eve mail from Blewzmann, the WT who he wtfpwned a while back in a multi-billion ISK battlecruiser:

Yes I do have some nice friends here. I hope you and I don’t meet again becasue you would not have taken that drake if I was there. I truly hope you feel like you accomplished something by killing a pilotless ship. Man that must have taken courage. Anyway punk from here on I will block your eve mail from coming to my mailbox. I hiope that your nuts falloff and you get podded. Yeah I am over the initial shock as you can tell from you being such a puss and doing what you did. Next time try and do the right thing unless you are that screwed up that you cannot do it.

OK kids, let’s role play for a moment.

I’m Blewzmann. I’ve borrowed ISK from my corpmates to fit out a 2 billion ISK active-tank faction-fit battlecruiser.

Somewhere along the line, my alliance gets pwned a couple of times by your alliance, so my leet PvP pilots take it on themselves to declare war on you. They either don’t warn me or don’t care about what will happen when you find me, so I undock for missions in my redonkulously expensive fail-fit battlecruiser.

While I’m slowly working through a mission, my wife calls me and wants me to help her with the grandkids. I love my family, so I dutifully go AFK and help. I don’t bother docking up because, hey, it’s not like my alliance is at war with an alliance that probably represents the best combat scanning pilot pool in empire space.

Well, you find me, and pop me, and it’s such a loss that I’m too numb to really get angry at first.

Time passes. My corpmates, who promised you doom and me replacement faction modules, haven’t made good on either of those commitments. Worse, now they’re leaning on me for all the money that they loaned me as an investment. Turns out the Ninjas are killing them nearly 3:1 on an ISK basis, and they need the money for more throwaway T2 ships.

End exercise. I almost felt bad for Blewzmann. Almost. Now it looks like he’s following the techniques used by his corpmates: Don’t get even, get mad.

I especially like that he’s not evening threatening revenge. All he wants is something generally bad to happen to Kahega. Impotent ragetears. The best kind of tears by far.

Blewzmann, if you want revenge, feel free to fit up another multi-billion ISK battlecruiser, and arrange a 1v1 against Kahega. I’m sure that he would be happy to prove to you that, no, it wouldn’t have made a difference if you’d been present to pilot your ship. You simply would not have put out enough DPS to break his tank, and your capacitor wouldn’t have been large enough to shield boost you through his torpedoes. If you want to succeed in this game, I suggest that you abandon the losers that don’t care about you getting killed, and forget this notion of more expensive == better that someone has maliciously planted in your head. Fun fact: Kahega could replace his ship, with insurance, about 30 times with the money he made from your “obviously superior” ship. In short, the reason you fail is you. You should know better by now. Stop failing.

Awesome tears at Prime’s place.

Posted in Delicious Tears on September 14, 2009 by paul

Velocity Prime posts some awesome tears left on his blog. If you don’t have his blog bookmarked, then I suggest you fix that.

I will now break down the post and respond to it as if it were mine to respond to.

Your right, i found this site looking for ideas to use against your scummy occupation.

Here’s one! Don’t shoot at Ninjas. Bad things happen.

I find Ninja Salvaging a nasty enterprise. If i were to liken it to a crime outside Eve, I would put it right up there with beating up a kid for his pocket money. It wouldn’t surprise me if all of you did that anyway if I’m honest. Actually it wouldn’t surprise me if the lot of you get off causing others pain.

Hows that for a comment.

Imagining your e-opponent to be a bad person in RL is always handy when you want to make your video game rage feel morally justifiable. Do you run missions for the Caldari? Then you must like hunting down French people and shooting them in the face in real life. Scumbag.

See how that works? What part of “THIS IS GAME” do you not understand? If I told you what I actually do for a living, your head would probably explode.

Also thanks for giving me your Corp Name along with your so called chief of salvaging operations.

Excuse me, but I am Director of Salvaging Operations, you silly carebear. And… I’m glad you were feel good about yourself after sleuthing out our corp name, but I don’t think it was under any particularly tight corporate security.

Watch your backs. Soon (but not too soon, wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise when it happens) revenge will be taken and you so called ninja looters wont know where the next hit will come from.

see you soon:) Well, your frozen podded corpse at least:)

Hmm should i record your deaths and stick them up on YouTube???

I love carebears that threaten us with in-game doom. I mean, we’ve gotten some pretty good wars in the past, but the tough ones have usually been from actual PvP corps that were in it for the fame. Most of the time nothing ever comes of threats like this, and when they do actually follow through with a wardec, they usually fail hilariously. So please, buck the trend by actually following up on your threats of doom.

Joa’har falls to NinjaRaven, cries about it

Posted in Combat, Delicious Tears, Ninja Salvaging on September 14, 2009 by paul

So the fail-dec from the carebear alliance continues, but I continue to salvage in Dodixie, even when there are a half-dozen enemy pilots trying to track me down. They haven’t caught me yet.

Today I scanned down a mission that requires an Imperial Navy Gate Permit. I warped over to my Orca which carries several of them, and hopped on into the deadspace. There I found Joa’har in an Abaddon. A little salvaging, a little looting, then… Joa’har locked onto my vigil and switched to a set of light drones. Will he do it? SUCCESS! Having already aligned, I warped out as his first drone hit me.

Unfortunately, I had a fail moment here. Being up against an Amarr battleship, I needed to fit extra EM resist mods to NinjaRaven, and the station I had it stored at did not have any of them available for sale. I warped over to m20, bought and fitted the mods, and undocked. There I saw Joa’har’s Abaddon, aligning to warp back to the mission. I sat there for a minute to see if he would actually head off back to his mission after seeing me in a PvP ship. He did! Knowing full well that he may have swapped for PvP gear in anticipation of my return in a gank ship, I decided to take a chance and go anyway.

I landed right on top of him in the third room and immediately pointed him. He swapped his light drones for mediums (I guess this means he wasn’t expecting me at all) and eventually got around to shooting back.

I was shooting Caldari Navy Bane torpedoes, which apparently fit nicely into the explosive damage hole in his resists. He popped with my shields at 60%. Here’s the killmail. I scooped his T2 modules and drones, headed back to station, and opened a convo with him.

Paul Clavet > o/
Paul Clavet > gf
Joa’har > yes? you cant pvp normally so you go around baiting mission runners? wow youre tough
Paul Clavet > So sorry. U mad?
Joa’har > oh yea raging 😀
Joa’har > just think its pretty sad man
Paul Clavet > Didn’t your mother tell you not to shoot at ninjas?
Paul Clavet > Bad things happen.
Joa’har > meh i just slacked is all
Joa’har > should have stayed aligned “shrug*
Paul Clavet > Thought I’d let you know that you’ll be featured on my blog, http://mylootyourtears.com
Joa’har > anyways i hope you find some fun in…this
Joa’har > 😀 im sure youll give me a fair review
Paul Clavet > I did! I hope you enjoyed our encounter as much as I did!
Joa’har > well good luck trying to have fun in this game mate

Don’t shoot at Ninjas.

If you do shoot at Ninjas, either stay docked until your timer is up or swap to a PvP fit. This applies double if you see proof that I’m getting ready to come gank you.

Don’t accuse a Ninja of not knowing how to PvP moments after he blows up your ship. I have no e-honor, and I am under no illusion that I’m good at this game. However, if I’ve just handily defeated you, there is at least one data point to work off of: I succeeded, and you failed. Learn not to fail.

Kahega wins the NinjaLottery, Blewzmann loses all

Posted in Combat, Delicious Tears, Duffers on September 7, 2009 by paul

First rule of Eve: Only undock with what you can afford to lose.

This rule is violated every day by missionbears, who undock faction-fitted faction PvE battleships that represent the whole of their net worth in Eve. Sometimes they bite off more than they can chew in a mission, or they shoot at a ninja (and then bad things happen) and they lose their ship. I imagine that a good portion of the players that leave Eve do so because of some catastrophic loss that puts them back in a cruiser.

Still, most people who undock in expensive ships for PvE are very cautious, and are never unlucky enough to lose the ship that they pour every bit of their income into.

This is not about most people. This is about Blewzmann. Blewzmann is a member of a corp called Soldiers of Mercy, which is a member of the deadspace society alliance, which currently has a wardec going against TEARS.

Below is Kahega’s forum post about the event, published with his permission.

———-

Story: Ninjaing in Lustrevik as normal. I warp into a drone mission. Knowing that there’s a drake with Hob IIs out in the next room, I travel the 30km to the gate and go through.

Inside, flashy red. Immediately, I think “WT! OH SHIT OH SHIT” and thus I GTFO as fast as humanly possible.

I know that he’s either a) getting backup from his blob of friends just two jumps away (or at least from the friend in system) and/or b) just GTFOing. Even still, I get in my gank Raven and insure it.

I warp to the gate at 60. Nothing; drake is still in mission, with hobs out….so I warp out, and warp back right onto the first gate.

I go through, and slowboat to the second gate 30km out. I’m sure he’ll warp out before hand. No one could be this stupid.

Alas, he is. I warp in and put my point on him. I don’t bother putting the neut on him…after all, he’s passive tanked…right?

Nope. I don’t think of it at first, and thus don’t put on the neut, but his shields keep going up in giant blobs. Active tanked drake ftw.

Regardless, my EM torps continue to rip through him until finally he dies. All the while i was mashing d-scan to ensure he had no friends come in. No one ever came, despite one being in local and a blob of them being 1-2 jumps out.

I open up the loot can and WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING SHIT FACTION LOOTS. The KB is off; the total value of all that loot is AT LEAST 800 million, probably closer to 1 bil. There was another 300 mil shield boost amp which did not drop. (Paul’s note: Kahega’s estimate ends up being a little low. The total ship value approaches 2 billion, with the loot dropped valued at about 1.5 billion.)

And after awhile, I convo him. Note, no rage, just pure sadness:

Kahega Amielden > o/
Kahega Amielden > Expensive ship you have there
Blewzmann > yeha i se yoyu caught me
Kahega Amielden > So why put that much ISK on a drake?
Blewzmann > when iwas trying to help my wife
Blewzmann > cause that is all i ahve i cant run a raven
Blewzmann > and that was my mission ship
Kahega Amielden > ah. How’d you -get- all that ISK anyway?
Blewzmann > man that teara my heart out
Blewzmann > truly does
Kahega Amielden > Your corp moon mines?
Blewzmann > dude i dont need aany smart remarks i workesd hard for that
Kahega Amielden > lol, just asking
Blewzmann > i am still in debt over it
Kahega Amielden > Ah. You got a loan?
Blewzmann > i owe people for the isk i borrowed
Kahega Amielden > Ah. Fair enough. Did you think I just looted in the previous room or something when you saw me fly in in my salvage stabber?
Blewzmann > no man i was not here i was helping my wife with my grandson
Kahega Amielden > Wait. Is this your wife’s character?
Blewzmann > you see this is why i dont like this bullshit
Kahega Amielden > Which bullshit?
Blewzmann > i tend tomyself mainly
Kahega Amielden > Why join a belligerant alliance then?
Blewzmann > these guys have hard ons
Blewzmann > i did not knopw it at the time
Blewzmann > i followed my friend here
Kahega Amielden > You didn’t figure it out when you saw the wardec?
Blewzmann > as you can see i have only been here two months
Kahega Amielden > Should watch the actions of your corp/alliance a bit more closely
Kahega Amielden > we just got randomly decced out of the blue
Blewzmann > well dude i can only answer for myself
Blewzmann > amd i am glad that you got the kill and took my high dollar stiuff
Blewzmann > have fun
Kahega Amielden > o/

Subsequent local chat post as a giant DSS blob showed up to stationcamp me:

Kahega Amielden > o/ Deadspace society
Kahega Amielden > Sure is a lot of you in local after that drake kill
Caige DarkBane > just bring that raven to me 🙂
Leon Hohokam > how bout you hand over the loot or we star war-decced with you for eternity?
Gloriaa > I’ll conate for a year
Gloriaa > donate
Kahega Amielden > Oh wow
Kahega Amielden > Please
Leon Hohokam > your choice
Leon Hohokam > hand it back or we follow you til we made good the loss
Leon Hohokam > that gonna cost you
Kahega Amielden > You’re doing a great job now
Leon Hohokam > not yor corp
Leon Hohokam > You
Leon Hohokam > I will folloow you to the gates of hell
Gloriaa > wheres Maria at least she shoots ships that actually shoot back
Leon Hohokam > and then I will get medievla on your ass
Kahega Amielden > Well you’re all bitter about your corpmate’s loss
Leon Hohokam > no mate
Kahega Amielden > That’s not true. He shot back
Kahega Amielden > Eventually
Leon Hohokam > that’s ko
OptimusTattoo > Hi guys.
Leon Hohokam > i just splainin the way it is
Leon Hohokam > you donate that back
Kahega Amielden > You all make me feel special
Leon Hohokam > and we leave you alone
Leon Hohokam > you keep it
Leon Hohokam > we will follow you to hell, back again an then some
General SHAKTI > i like pizza
Gloriaa > your daddy just signed on he is a coward like you
Lil’ Evil > Kahega Amielden PRIMARY FROM NOW ON!
FOl2TY8 > thats the worst smack ever
OptimusTattoo > /emote says hello again and waits
Caige DarkBane > oi fol2 in your iskur again?
Gloriaa > oh wow another coward
Kahega Amielden > If I may quote my corpmate
Caige DarkBane > smack is overrated lol
Kahega Amielden > “Don’t shoot ninjas. Bad things happen”
General SHAKTI > yea hell link the kb jus give it a min…..
Caige DarkBane > im just here to fight not smack
Gloriaa > oh please
FOl2TY8 > http://yoink.evekb.co.uk/?a=cc_detail&ctr_id=1175
Caige DarkBane > oi optimus
General SHAKTI > yes!!!
Kahega Amielden > You know guys. I feel bad. I really should give you -something-
General SHAKTI > less then a min
Kahega Amielden > If I gave you guys a shuttle, would you at least be a little less butthurt
OptimusTattoo > /emote FRELLING SAID HELLO
General SHAKTI > well as long as ur wreks keep funding the war ull have more to post up
FOl2TY8 > good
Shark Byte > [02:44:04] Sigmav > Because i can just imagine them being all like SUDDENLY NINJASSSSS and then appearing out of smoke and popping out of the ground throwing their crazy ninja stars and slicing people with their short blades
Kahega Amielden > You certainly have been destroying us ISK-wise so far
Shark Byte > lol
FOl2TY8 > keep it up, at least now you know kahega can field ships for another 3 months
General SHAKTI > yea well when ur hiding in the station u not noob stealing salvage
Kahega Amielden > Fuck that, I fly pretty much exlusively Afs and SBs
Kahega Amielden > You’ve funded my ships for 6 months and my game time for as long
FOl2TY8 > lol

[Got cut off, but he says we just sit in station and ninja salvage and are noobs]
Kahega Amielden > That’s not true. I come out of station sometimes
Kahega Amielden > like when a war target flies an active-tank faction-fit drake in a mission
Kahega Amielden > During wartime
Caige DarkBane > lol me either
Kahega Amielden > k guys
General SHAKTI > but i really do like pizza
General SHAKTI > hey where u going
FOl2TY8 > wheree ever i want cuz you guys cant tackle shit
Leon Hohokam > you din say that before to me in the Vagbond when you went pop
FOl2TY8 > you mean after i popped your 07 player in the ishkur?
General SHAKTI > yea i here u good a mwd back to gate to run
FOl2TY8 > and after i popped like 3 more of your people today?
Leon Hohokam > come get some then
FOl2TY8 > mayybe
OptimusTattoo > go get some……………you’ve got like 6 months on him
FOl2TY8 > hard when hes protected by a legion and a rapier
FOl2TY8 > all i have is my lowly ishkur
OptimusTattoo > butyou just talked shit
Shark Byte > lol
Leon Hohokam > you come get some
OptimusTattoo > shit talkers are the bomb
Leon Hohokam > 1 vs 1
Leon Hohokam > come on then tard
Leon Hohokam > uyou and me now
Leon Hohokam > you got months on me
FOl2TY8 > in your bruitx?
Leon Hohokam > i one you now
Leon Hohokam > anything you like
FOl2TY8 > 1v1 brutix vs brutix?
Leon Hohokam > sure
Leon Hohokam > anything
FOl2TY8 > k brb
Leon Hohokam > k
FOl2TY8 > lol
FOl2TY8 > ill fight you in my ishkur
Leon Hohokam > yeah yeah yeah]
OptimusTattoo > omg it’s so easy to rile ppl up
FOl2TY8 > leave fleet
FOl2TY8 > lol
Leon Hohokam > coem on
Leon Hohokam > this is war
FOl2TY8 > ok, ill see you on the video game battlefield
Kahega Amielden > This -was- war
Kahega Amielden > Up until the point we won it
FOl2TY8 > VIDEO GAMES!!!!!
Kahega Amielden > which was about 20 minutes ago
Gloriaa > from one kill figure it out if it is ever over
Caige DarkBane > someday you all will learn we dont care about the isk
Leon Hohokam > it aint bout isk you numb nuts
General SHAKTI > dont worry about him leon hes never been out of hisec wouldnt no any diff
OptimusTattoo > eve supscription 14.95 computer 1700 getting pissed off in a game and going to war right before mom says it’s bedtime…………………………PRICELESS
Kahega Amielden > It sounds like it’s about ISK
Hawkiee > shame u got a afk mission runner, and yall think this is a isk war,,, we r gona keep this war on for months, till all sudden nijas r no more
Kahega Amielden > You guys were sure quicfk to come here and stationcamp me
Leon Hohokam > he ran
Kahega Amielden > Meh. better corps than you have tried
Kahega Amielden > o/ Leon, just saw your evemail
Leon Hohokam > your choice bro, your choice
Kahega Amielden > Indeed it is
Kahega Amielden > what’s funny about this is that even if I cared, I could now sell this character, buy a new one, and still have a sihtton of ISK to spare
Leon Hohokam > eternity is a long time watch your back
Kahega Amielden > but I wont do that, of course. I’d much rather watch you try to hunt me
Leon Hohokam > won’t be me
Leon Hohokam > be somebody else
Kahega Amielden > Well I don’t think you have enough ISK to hire mercs after that
Leon Hohokam > somebody who will get to know real well in the coming months
Leon Hohokam > after what
Kahega Amielden > 😀 I like meeting new people
Leon Hohokam > I got 7,25 bil
Hawkiee > its not just u ,, its all ur prick friends too,
FOl2TY8 > kahega you started a blood feud
Leon Hohokam > and my friend don;t charge Me nuthin anyhow;s
Kahega Amielden > Sweet. Can you fit out a faction-fit drake for me?
Leon Hohokam > not since 2005
Leon Hohokam > watch your back cos it’s a creeping up on you
Harry Sac > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUJGjTjo … re=popular
Leon Hohokam > and you will Know who it was when they mention my name
Kahega Amielden > So leon
Leon Hohokam > have fun tard
General SHAKTI > ha
Leon Hohokam > have fun
Leon Hohokam > cos you going Down
Kahega Amielden > how long do you think it will take to kill 2 bil ISK worth of my stuff?
Leon Hohokam > over an over
Leon Hohokam > welcome to Hell
Gloriaa > damn I am a noob and a female you scared baby
FOl2TY8 > this local needs more metallica
Caige DarkBane > >:)
Mhoro > When your grown up enough, you’ll realize it isn’t about the ISK.
OptimusTattoo > or grammar lessons
Mhoro > doh, Grammar po-po… you’re
OptimusTattoo > when local knows you’re and your i’ll be happy
Mhoro > Roger that.
OptimusTattoo > your hot =fail you’re hot = win
Mhoro > i r smrt though. /nod
FOl2TY8 > he done for the night?
Mhoro > GOod question

EVEMail from his corpmate:

Hey brother,

that guy was in a mission and had to go help his lady do something (rl).

You donate those shield mods back to him and I will see that you get some good money and we will ease off on you – it would create a whole lot of good feelin if you did that.

You donate it back, and I personally will make it worth your while.

Yours,

Leon Hohokam

(Paul’s note: Ninja FOl2TY8 suggests re-reading the above Eve-mail in the voice of Hulk Hogan. I second that suggestion.)

after sending him an EVEmail with the list of people who now have his corpmate’s stuff:

Hiya,

no, I’m not interested in buying anything…

I was appealing to your humanity. I am a great beleiver that games, and how people conduct themselves in games, reflects their true character, You have no humility.

We already sourced new items for Blewz (your victim).

I don’t think you realise it’s not about isk. It’s about how we conduct ourslelves,

Anyway… fly safe

leon

———-

OK, This is Paul again. Crazy, huh?

Don’t undock in what you cannot afford to lose.
– Especially not in wartime.
— Especially not in a faction-fit active tank Drake.

What. The. Crap.

Ninja Tip: Ship’s Crew and other mission objectives

Posted in Ninja Salvaging, The More You Know on September 5, 2009 by paul

Tonight I was salvaging in Emol under the noses of WTs from the fail carebear alliance that has us under wardec, when I came across an Angel/Sansha Worlds Collide mission being run by two Ravens. Long story short, I found one of the two Ravens in the last room, motoring away from the aggro’d room and clearing everything. Figuring I was either too early or too late, I opened up the damaged Heron and found… 20 Ships Crew!

And the MRs did not have aggro on me. Since every other time I’ve taken the crew I’ve already looted, I had never known that you can take the Ships Crew without getting flagged. I wonder if other mission objective cans are the same way?

Oh, and I noted that the crew was going in system for 20 million ISK. The nearest cheaper one was 12 jumps away. I opened a convo with one of the Raven pilots, who offered me one million. When I counter-offered what I thought was a very gracious 16 million, he said that he was going to petition it with CCP, and that he hoped I got banned. Good luck with that. I gave it to my trade alt, who will find the system in which it is in most demand, and sell it to someone else… probably the victim of another ninja.