First rule of Eve: Only undock with what you can afford to lose.
This rule is violated every day by missionbears, who undock faction-fitted faction PvE battleships that represent the whole of their net worth in Eve. Sometimes they bite off more than they can chew in a mission, or they shoot at a ninja (and then bad things happen) and they lose their ship. I imagine that a good portion of the players that leave Eve do so because of some catastrophic loss that puts them back in a cruiser.
Still, most people who undock in expensive ships for PvE are very cautious, and are never unlucky enough to lose the ship that they pour every bit of their income into.
This is not about most people. This is about Blewzmann. Blewzmann is a member of a corp called Soldiers of Mercy, which is a member of the deadspace society alliance, which currently has a wardec going against TEARS.
Below is Kahega’s forum post about the event, published with his permission.
Story: Ninjaing in Lustrevik as normal. I warp into a drone mission. Knowing that there’s a drake with Hob IIs out in the next room, I travel the 30km to the gate and go through.
Inside, flashy red. Immediately, I think “WT! OH SHIT OH SHIT” and thus I GTFO as fast as humanly possible.
I know that he’s either a) getting backup from his blob of friends just two jumps away (or at least from the friend in system) and/or b) just GTFOing. Even still, I get in my gank Raven and insure it.
I warp to the gate at 60. Nothing; drake is still in mission, with hobs out….so I warp out, and warp back right onto the first gate.
I go through, and slowboat to the second gate 30km out. I’m sure he’ll warp out before hand. No one could be this stupid.
Alas, he is. I warp in and put my point on him. I don’t bother putting the neut on him…after all, he’s passive tanked…right?
Nope. I don’t think of it at first, and thus don’t put on the neut, but his shields keep going up in giant blobs. Active tanked drake ftw.
Regardless, my EM torps continue to rip through him until finally he dies. All the while i was mashing d-scan to ensure he had no friends come in. No one ever came, despite one being in local and a blob of them being 1-2 jumps out.
I open up the loot can and WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING SHIT FACTION LOOTS. The KB is off; the total value of all that loot is AT LEAST 800 million, probably closer to 1 bil. There was another 300 mil shield boost amp which did not drop. (Paul’s note: Kahega’s estimate ends up being a little low. The total ship value approaches 2 billion, with the loot dropped valued at about 1.5 billion.)
And after awhile, I convo him. Note, no rage, just pure sadness:
Kahega Amielden > o/
Kahega Amielden > Expensive ship you have there
Blewzmann > yeha i se yoyu caught me
Kahega Amielden > So why put that much ISK on a drake?
Blewzmann > when iwas trying to help my wife
Blewzmann > cause that is all i ahve i cant run a raven
Blewzmann > and that was my mission ship
Kahega Amielden > ah. How’d you -get- all that ISK anyway?
Blewzmann > man that teara my heart out
Blewzmann > truly does
Kahega Amielden > Your corp moon mines?
Blewzmann > dude i dont need aany smart remarks i workesd hard for that
Kahega Amielden > lol, just asking
Blewzmann > i am still in debt over it
Kahega Amielden > Ah. You got a loan?
Blewzmann > i owe people for the isk i borrowed
Kahega Amielden > Ah. Fair enough. Did you think I just looted in the previous room or something when you saw me fly in in my salvage stabber?
Blewzmann > no man i was not here i was helping my wife with my grandson
Kahega Amielden > Wait. Is this your wife’s character?
Blewzmann > you see this is why i dont like this bullshit
Kahega Amielden > Which bullshit?
Blewzmann > i tend tomyself mainly
Kahega Amielden > Why join a belligerant alliance then?
Blewzmann > these guys have hard ons
Blewzmann > i did not knopw it at the time
Blewzmann > i followed my friend here
Kahega Amielden > You didn’t figure it out when you saw the wardec?
Blewzmann > as you can see i have only been here two months
Kahega Amielden > Should watch the actions of your corp/alliance a bit more closely
Kahega Amielden > we just got randomly decced out of the blue
Blewzmann > well dude i can only answer for myself
Blewzmann > amd i am glad that you got the kill and took my high dollar stiuff
Blewzmann > have fun
Kahega Amielden > o/
Subsequent local chat post as a giant DSS blob showed up to stationcamp me:
Kahega Amielden > o/ Deadspace society
Kahega Amielden > Sure is a lot of you in local after that drake kill
Caige DarkBane > just bring that raven to me 🙂
Leon Hohokam > how bout you hand over the loot or we star war-decced with you for eternity?
Gloriaa > I’ll conate for a year
Gloriaa > donate
Kahega Amielden > Oh wow
Kahega Amielden > Please
Leon Hohokam > your choice
Leon Hohokam > hand it back or we follow you til we made good the loss
Leon Hohokam > that gonna cost you
Kahega Amielden > You’re doing a great job now
Leon Hohokam > not yor corp
Leon Hohokam > You
Leon Hohokam > I will folloow you to the gates of hell
Gloriaa > wheres Maria at least she shoots ships that actually shoot back
Leon Hohokam > and then I will get medievla on your ass
Kahega Amielden > Well you’re all bitter about your corpmate’s loss
Leon Hohokam > no mate
Kahega Amielden > That’s not true. He shot back
Kahega Amielden > Eventually
Leon Hohokam > that’s ko
OptimusTattoo > Hi guys.
Leon Hohokam > i just splainin the way it is
Leon Hohokam > you donate that back
Kahega Amielden > You all make me feel special
Leon Hohokam > and we leave you alone
Leon Hohokam > you keep it
Leon Hohokam > we will follow you to hell, back again an then some
General SHAKTI > i like pizza
Gloriaa > your daddy just signed on he is a coward like you
Lil’ Evil > Kahega Amielden PRIMARY FROM NOW ON!
FOl2TY8 > thats the worst smack ever
OptimusTattoo > /emote says hello again and waits
Caige DarkBane > oi fol2 in your iskur again?
Gloriaa > oh wow another coward
Kahega Amielden > If I may quote my corpmate
Caige DarkBane > smack is overrated lol
Kahega Amielden > “Don’t shoot ninjas. Bad things happen”
General SHAKTI > yea hell link the kb jus give it a min…..
Caige DarkBane > im just here to fight not smack
Gloriaa > oh please
FOl2TY8 > http://yoink.evekb.co.uk/?a=cc_detail&ctr_id=1175
Caige DarkBane > oi optimus
General SHAKTI > yes!!!
Kahega Amielden > You know guys. I feel bad. I really should give you -something-
General SHAKTI > less then a min
Kahega Amielden > If I gave you guys a shuttle, would you at least be a little less butthurt
OptimusTattoo > /emote FRELLING SAID HELLO
General SHAKTI > well as long as ur wreks keep funding the war ull have more to post up
FOl2TY8 > good
Shark Byte > [02:44:04] Sigmav > Because i can just imagine them being all like SUDDENLY NINJASSSSS and then appearing out of smoke and popping out of the ground throwing their crazy ninja stars and slicing people with their short blades
Kahega Amielden > You certainly have been destroying us ISK-wise so far
Shark Byte > lol
FOl2TY8 > keep it up, at least now you know kahega can field ships for another 3 months
General SHAKTI > yea well when ur hiding in the station u not noob stealing salvage
Kahega Amielden > Fuck that, I fly pretty much exlusively Afs and SBs
Kahega Amielden > You’ve funded my ships for 6 months and my game time for as long
FOl2TY8 > lol
[Got cut off, but he says we just sit in station and ninja salvage and are noobs]
Kahega Amielden > That’s not true. I come out of station sometimes
Kahega Amielden > like when a war target flies an active-tank faction-fit drake in a mission
Kahega Amielden > During wartime
Caige DarkBane > lol me either
Kahega Amielden > k guys
General SHAKTI > but i really do like pizza
General SHAKTI > hey where u going
FOl2TY8 > wheree ever i want cuz you guys cant tackle shit
Leon Hohokam > you din say that before to me in the Vagbond when you went pop
FOl2TY8 > you mean after i popped your 07 player in the ishkur?
General SHAKTI > yea i here u good a mwd back to gate to run
FOl2TY8 > and after i popped like 3 more of your people today?
Leon Hohokam > come get some then
FOl2TY8 > mayybe
OptimusTattoo > go get some……………you’ve got like 6 months on him
FOl2TY8 > hard when hes protected by a legion and a rapier
FOl2TY8 > all i have is my lowly ishkur
OptimusTattoo > butyou just talked shit
Shark Byte > lol
Leon Hohokam > you come get some
OptimusTattoo > shit talkers are the bomb
Leon Hohokam > 1 vs 1
Leon Hohokam > come on then tard
Leon Hohokam > uyou and me now
Leon Hohokam > you got months on me
FOl2TY8 > in your bruitx?
Leon Hohokam > i one you now
Leon Hohokam > anything you like
FOl2TY8 > 1v1 brutix vs brutix?
Leon Hohokam > sure
Leon Hohokam > anything
FOl2TY8 > k brb
Leon Hohokam > k
FOl2TY8 > lol
FOl2TY8 > ill fight you in my ishkur
Leon Hohokam > yeah yeah yeah]
OptimusTattoo > omg it’s so easy to rile ppl up
FOl2TY8 > leave fleet
FOl2TY8 > lol
Leon Hohokam > coem on
Leon Hohokam > this is war
FOl2TY8 > ok, ill see you on the video game battlefield
Kahega Amielden > This -was- war
Kahega Amielden > Up until the point we won it
FOl2TY8 > VIDEO GAMES!!!!!
Kahega Amielden > which was about 20 minutes ago
Gloriaa > from one kill figure it out if it is ever over
Caige DarkBane > someday you all will learn we dont care about the isk
Leon Hohokam > it aint bout isk you numb nuts
General SHAKTI > dont worry about him leon hes never been out of hisec wouldnt no any diff
OptimusTattoo > eve supscription 14.95 computer 1700 getting pissed off in a game and going to war right before mom says it’s bedtime…………………………PRICELESS
Kahega Amielden > It sounds like it’s about ISK
Hawkiee > shame u got a afk mission runner, and yall think this is a isk war,,, we r gona keep this war on for months, till all sudden nijas r no more
Kahega Amielden > You guys were sure quicfk to come here and stationcamp me
Leon Hohokam > he ran
Kahega Amielden > Meh. better corps than you have tried
Kahega Amielden > o/ Leon, just saw your evemail
Leon Hohokam > your choice bro, your choice
Kahega Amielden > Indeed it is
Kahega Amielden > what’s funny about this is that even if I cared, I could now sell this character, buy a new one, and still have a sihtton of ISK to spare
Leon Hohokam > eternity is a long time watch your back
Kahega Amielden > but I wont do that, of course. I’d much rather watch you try to hunt me
Leon Hohokam > won’t be me
Leon Hohokam > be somebody else
Kahega Amielden > Well I don’t think you have enough ISK to hire mercs after that
Leon Hohokam > somebody who will get to know real well in the coming months
Leon Hohokam > after what
Kahega Amielden > 😀 I like meeting new people
Leon Hohokam > I got 7,25 bil
Hawkiee > its not just u ,, its all ur prick friends too,
FOl2TY8 > kahega you started a blood feud
Leon Hohokam > and my friend don;t charge Me nuthin anyhow;s
Kahega Amielden > Sweet. Can you fit out a faction-fit drake for me?
Leon Hohokam > not since 2005
Leon Hohokam > watch your back cos it’s a creeping up on you
Harry Sac > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUJGjTjo … re=popular
Leon Hohokam > and you will Know who it was when they mention my name
Kahega Amielden > So leon
Leon Hohokam > have fun tard
General SHAKTI > ha
Leon Hohokam > have fun
Leon Hohokam > cos you going Down
Kahega Amielden > how long do you think it will take to kill 2 bil ISK worth of my stuff?
Leon Hohokam > over an over
Leon Hohokam > welcome to Hell
Gloriaa > damn I am a noob and a female you scared baby
FOl2TY8 > this local needs more metallica
Caige DarkBane > >:)
Mhoro > When your grown up enough, you’ll realize it isn’t about the ISK.
OptimusTattoo > or grammar lessons
Mhoro > doh, Grammar po-po… you’re
OptimusTattoo > when local knows you’re and your i’ll be happy
Mhoro > Roger that.
OptimusTattoo > your hot =fail you’re hot = win
Mhoro > i r smrt though. /nod
FOl2TY8 > he done for the night?
Mhoro > GOod question
EVEMail from his corpmate:
that guy was in a mission and had to go help his lady do something (rl).
You donate those shield mods back to him and I will see that you get some good money and we will ease off on you – it would create a whole lot of good feelin if you did that.
You donate it back, and I personally will make it worth your while.
(Paul’s note: Ninja FOl2TY8 suggests re-reading the above Eve-mail in the voice of Hulk Hogan. I second that suggestion.)
after sending him an EVEmail with the list of people who now have his corpmate’s stuff:
no, I’m not interested in buying anything…
I was appealing to your humanity. I am a great beleiver that games, and how people conduct themselves in games, reflects their true character, You have no humility.
We already sourced new items for Blewz (your victim).
I don’t think you realise it’s not about isk. It’s about how we conduct ourslelves,
Anyway… fly safe
OK, This is Paul again. Crazy, huh?
Don’t undock in what you cannot afford to lose.
– Especially not in wartime.
— Especially not in a faction-fit active tank Drake.
What. The. Crap.