Archive for July, 2009

On Frigate Warfare

Posted in Combat on July 31, 2009 by paul

When I saw the image, I couldn’t resist putting this together.

Speed tanking illustrated

Posted in Uncategorized on July 26, 2009 by paul

From Aiden Mourn on the private Suddenly Ninjas forums:


NinjaFleets, Shooting at Them, Ransoms, and You

Posted in Combat, Ninja Salvaging on July 26, 2009 by paul

It seems that a pattern is developing for Saturdays in Suddenly Ninjas:

  1. Paul Clavet logs in to check his market orders and see what’s shaking with the corp.
  2. Multiple ninjas beg Paul to start a salvage op.
  3. Paul states that he isn’t even sure he’s going to be playing today. He thinks of other things he should be doing, like building shelving for the utility room, cleaning his guns, or changing the oil in his car.
  4. More begging.
  5. Paul relents and forms the fleet.
  6. A 15+ strong NinjaFleet terrorizes Dodixie for eight hours.

Yesterday was no different. We even got some kills. This particular violence started with NinjaFleet warping in on four or five missionbears in various ships, running a fairly efficient group L4 operation. Wrecks were salvaged. Loot was taken. Prayers were offered. Then, success! Several of the missionbears started shooting at several among NinjaFleet.

Now, I’ve never seen this sort of situation work out well for us in the past. Typically it’s the lone missionbear that shoots at a ninja, declares victory as the ninja warps away, resumes missionbearing, then melts as the ninja returns in a gank ship and tears the mission ship a new one. Groups tend to have folks in them who are a little smarter than your average solo mission-grinder, so the best you can usually hope for is for them to align to station, take a couple of pot shots at NinjaFleet, then warp to station and either hole up or play docking games until their aggro runs out.

These missionbears were either dumber or more confident than most. They either stuck around or swapped for combat ships and came back, but I don’t remember exactly how it went down as my eyes were already starting to bleed from long hours of ninja work. All I know is that when I warped in my Drake, I saw two flashy Ishkurs on my overview. Michella said she was engaging a Megathron, but I didn’t see it so I assumed that it had run off.

Fleetmate Pyth2 grabbed triallum’s Ishkur with his Harbinger. I grabbed the Ishkur piloted by Simorgh Dasliva and started pounding on it with oversized HAMs and Warrior II drones, while ninja Zavulon Sukkot kept a point on the enemy even when I was jammed and could not maintain my warp scrambler. Eventually it popped.


I relaxed a bit when my target went down, until I heard a combat status report from Michella. I must have my overview settings screwed up, because I couldn’t see the Megathron on my overview and had to do a visual sweep in order to find it. The Mega, flown by Maximus Thrax, had aggro on most of us but had only shot at Michella, who had him pinned down in her Drake but, having the wrong kind of missile loaded for his resists, could not break his armor tank. A ninja got a ship scan on the Mega and announced his resists, and another went back to station to get the appropriate ammunition. NinjaFleet’s combat ships orbited Max’s Mega in case he decided to try and shoot at someone else or one of the Ishkur pilots came back to intervene. All non-combat NinjaFleet ships on the field were ordered to scatter 150 kilometers in random directions to act as tactical warp-in points in case Max’s friends returned in sniper boats.

Now, a T2-fit and rigged Megathron isn’t cheap, but its destruction is not likely to yield great loot for those popping it. My last attempt at extracting a ransom had not been successful as such, although the faction loot that ended up dropping (we have since made ship scanners standard equipment) gained us far more than the 500M offered for the CNR. In this case, with the fittings of the target known to be relatively low-value T2 equipment, we had the advantage of knowing that the destruction of the ship would be expensive to the missionbear, but not terribly profitable for NinjaFleet. Thus, I decided to attempt to extract a ransom.

Paul Clavet > o/
Maximus Thrax > o
Paul Clavet > I thought you should know that the correct damage missiles are coming to Mich
Paul Clavet > I would order them off you for 100M
(Max closes the chat)

Missiles with the correct damage type arrived and are dropped in a cargo can for Michella to pick up. RR arrives to keep her capacitor charged up in case of surprises. Max’s armor tank begins to break as the damage increases to a level higher than his repair units can sustain. I open another convo with him when his armor is at 30%.

Paul Clavet > 125M now
Paul Clavet > to save your rigs etc
Maximus Thrax > 50M
Paul Clavet > this isn’t a negotiation
(Max closes the chat again)

“OK Michella,” I announce over voice comms, “it looks like he’s not going for it. Waste him.”
“Yar!” Michella acknowledges.

The Megathron’s armor vanishes (it’s amazing how important it is to have the correct damage type) and bits of Max’s ship start falling off. I figure we’re pretty much done, but Khalia Nestune convinces me to try once again for the ransom. Michella holds her fire for the time being, and though the armor immediately starts gaining traction again, we know that she’s got Max right where she wants him.

Paul Clavet > last chance, 125M
Maximus Thrax > ok
Paul Clavet > 30 seconds
(20 seconds pass)
Maximus Thrax > get it?
(My wallet blinks. I check it and confirm a donation of 125,000,000 ISK.)
Paul Clavet > yes
Paul Clavet > you’re off the hook
Paul Clavet > o/

“Break, break. Disengage. He paid. Disengage.”
“What, we’re not going to take his money and pew him anyway?” Michella asks.
“No, a T2 Mega on the killboard isn’t worth never getting a ransom again.”

We swapped back to salvage ships and got back to work. I called it a day shortly afterwards, and Khalia took over for the last couple of hours. The payout was about average: Not nearly as much per hour as a skilled solo ninja can make, but far more than a newbie ninja can. The ransom payment certainly didn’t hurt.

We’ve had a pleasant influx of new recruits recently, and it’s been enjoyable in these fleets to watch someone learn the ways of the ninja salvager and begin to extract their own tears.

The battle with the Ishkurs and Megathron, and the resulting kills and ransom, were certainly the highlight of the day. Ransoming works out great: We make about 100M more than would have been expected from loot drops in killing the ship, the Missionbear gets to keep their ship and rigs (which we wouldn’t see any benefit from anyway), and everyone wins. Well, except for the Missionbear I guess, who is still 125 million ISK poorer for shooting at NinjaFleet. Still, I have to give Max and his friends props for not whining at us after paying for their mistake. We hope to see you guys again real soon!

TLDR version, as always, is “Don’t shoot at ninjas. Bad things happen.”

Spam and Site Improvement

Posted in Site News on July 21, 2009 by paul

This morning I found over 700 spam comments on Khalia’s lastest post. Poor guy probably opened his email, saw the number of notifications, and closed it without looking at them.

I installed/configured Akismet and spam-canned all the comments in that post, but apparently that ended up taking out most of the other comments on the site, as well. So I skimmed the 800ish comments and un-spammed the legitimate ones. All should be working correctly now. If you have any trouble with comments not appearing, send me an eve-mail in-game.

I also tweaked what was formerly a single-author template so that the author name will show up.

Delicious Tears: Psymn

Posted in Delicious Tears on July 20, 2009 by khalia

Khalia here again. Occasionally we in Suddenly Ninjas get tears even when not salvaging. Here’s a nice encounter with a big e-peen fellow named Psymn. I enjoyed how Dodixie local stepped in for some smack on him, too.

Enjia Fullblood > there actually is more money in the wrecks then the mission
Psymn > i know
Enjia Fullblood > go figure right?
Khalia Nestune > I hang around and make sure runners shoot every wreck. And the cans too, since I’ll loot those. If they want to play that way, I’ll make sure neither of us gets anything =)
Psymn > i have friends that salvage
Enjia Fullblood > i salvage as i go, so nothing really for the ninjas
Psymn > no, runners make sure you get nothing, we get bounties
Min Jen > actually you waste ammo and time shooting the wrecks
Psymn > ammo, lol
Min Jen > just ignore them and blitz the mission
Rhivre > I salvage after the mission, so if I lose one once in a while…meh
Tannumah > ill make sure to get your mission item Psymn for being a dumbass, come back to Auvergne
Faeyth > just pack a domi
Faeyth > salvage as you go
Faeyth > easy peasy
Psymn > i just have a laugh as the wrecks dissapear as the get to them, thats the only thing that pisses me off, when they dont accept comm and i cant say things like’ omg that wreck just dissapeared’ and ‘dont shoot my wrecks asshole’
Khalia Nestune > I solve that by orbiting the person salvaging, and salvaging them as they bring them to me =)
Faeyth > depends on how many salvagers you got and how many i have
Faeyth > usually have at least 2- 3 salvaegers
Khalia Nestune > With my skills and implants? I win every time.
Khalia Nestune > Minimum four =)
Psymn > 4 month old player talking about skills lol
Rhivre > well, tbh, if they go to the effort of probing down my mission, then I might even send them some spirits and tobacco afterwards :p but, for me, missions are just a way of killing time between trading
Khalia Nestune > Yes, because *clearly* it takes more than 4 months to training Salvaging V.
Faeyth > nice choice of skills
Rhivre > I had this char to all ewar skills at 4 within 4 months, so ninja salvaging takes a lot less time
Psymn > you dont have salvaging 5
Faeyth > thats his choice mate
Khalia Nestune > ORLY
Khalia Nestune > What, you hacked into my account now?
Psymn > i doubt you do
Khalia Nestune > I doubt you have a dick, too
Psymn > O.o
Enjia Fullblood > And there goes the convesation!!
Enjia Fullblood > lol
Khalia Nestune > But I am as likely to be able to prove that as you my skills heh
Faeyth > LOL
Psymn > ask your mom about my dick
Enjia Fullblood > /emote makes a PB&J and watches the flame war
Khalia Nestune > I did, she showed me the box she keeps it in
Rhivre > lol…now its the “mom” comments :p
Enjia Fullblood > oh a mom comment, classic flame war posture
Psymn > you mom made a plater cast of my dick?
Psymn > plaster*
Psymn > understandible
Rhivre > I miss dodixie chat in Verge Vendor….no chat for 5 hours in one system last night 😮
Enjia Fullblood > psymen makes a weak comeback how will his opponent respond?
Khalia Nestune > you might want to check again, son, the plaster is what you have left down there =)
Enjia Fullblood > OH BODY BLOW!
AschenDTD > nice
Enjia Fullblood > he’s staggering
Khalia Nestune > Griefing is what we do, this is par for the course
Enjia Fullblood > can he recover folks?
Psymn > well, every ninja that crashed my mission was on comm silence
Khalia Nestune > no, apparently he could not
Enjia Fullblood > doesn’t look like it
Enjia Fullblood > he might be down for the count..
Enjia Fullblood > 1….
Enjia Fullblood > 2…
Enjia Fullblood > 3…
Khalia Nestune > and with that FAIL, I need to go reprocess the 8500m3 of loot from tonight’s looting
Enjia Fullblood > ding ding, this fight is over!
Psymn > process loot?
Enjia Fullblood > khalia is the reigning flame war champion! WHAT A FAG!
Psymn > you must get ganked alot
Enjia Fullblood > I SAID IT WAS OVER!
Enjia Fullblood > geez
Psymn > waht?
Enjia Fullblood > you lost

My contract icon starts blinking, and I see this contract from Rhivre:


Khalia Nestune > rofl @ Rhivre
Khalia Nestune > grats, dude
Rhivre > You are welcome 🙂
Psymn > there is no loss, he cant win when he set himself up with dick based comments
Enjia Fullblood > nope, you lost
Enjia Fullblood > sorry
Psymn > i checked your bio, unfortunetly you do not appear to be qualified to referee
Psymn > sorry
Rhivre > Well, as the fluffiest person in dodixie, I am assistant referee, and I concur with the original decision
Rhivre > /emote waves red card at Psymn
Psymn > and tbh, he lost the second he said i had no dick, if thats not a sign of him losing it then i say the judgement was biased
Enjia Fullblood > referee challenge fails!
Rhivre > well, you might be a girl?

Mythicon learns not to shoot at ninjas

Posted in Combat, Delicious Tears, Ninja Salvaging on July 13, 2009 by khalia

Hello all, my Eve name is Khalia Nestune, and you may have seen me mentioned in some of Paul’s earlier posts. Paul has invited me to contribute some occasional stories of loot, tears and gank to My Loot, Your Tears.

The following is the story of my first successful bait of a mission runner and subsequent gank and sweet, sweet tears. I have usually provided support to our Ninja-fleets up until now, so a solo gank was a nice milestone for me. =)

I’ve been salvaging in a different area than usual, due to the war Suddenly Ninjas has been engaged in. Today’s attempts at grief had so far been unsuccessful, but the salvage good: A pristine Amarr faction wreck field had at least 15m in tags. Yum.

My next scan hit is a Drake, and I warp to it in my scanship to check it out… mission runner in first room, just starting – no wrecks yet. I check the pilot.. two months old! Visions of loot->agro->pwnage flash through my head. I had just fitted a Prophecy for exactly that kind of thing. So I go get my salvager Vigil and camp outside the gate to watch for wrecks on d-scanner, figuring I’ll go in and grab stuff when he has stuff to grab.

Unfortunately it looks like he’s salvaging as he goes, so I warp in and hope to grab something before he can get all the loot. I end up grabbing agro on the 10+ frigate serpentis rats and drop them on top of his head, then warp out and return. He’s forced to fire on them, so I start grabbing loot. He locks me… I wait… YES! He’s fired on me with his drones.

He stops to drop a tear in local:

Mythicon > Khalia Nestune is nothing but a theif watch for him in your missions
Khalia Nestune > =)

I bug out, grab the gank Prophecy, and return. By this time he’s finished with the rats and working on the last wreck. I burn at him, but it’s 70km and I’m not hopeful; he has plenty of time to align and warp out. I’m almost within disruptor range when … he goes through the next gate.

Ok, I think. This is awesome. He just took all of the next room of agro for me, and I have 5 minutes left on the timer. I get to the gate about 15 seconds later, warp through, and lay into him with scram, web, neut and lasers.  I run through shield rapidly, and into armor as his shields are steadily falling. A small tear in local again:

Mythicon > and a chicken shit he is fighting me while i am in a mission

I’ve only about 25% armor left and starting to sweat, when I break his shield tank. His armor takes another minute to fall, and now I’m really sweating because I’m about to go into hull! He goes into hull and 3 seconds later, kaboom. I grab his drops, and go dock up to repair.

And the tears in local:

Khalia Nestune > pwned.
Mythicon > you are the worst kind i chicken shit wont fight me out in real space
Mythicon > i had 10 ships hitting me
Mythicon > i hate chicken shit fighters
Khalia Nestune > thanks for the loot and modules!
Khalia Nestune > oh and some salvage too, nice
Mythicon > Khalia Nestune just killed me in a Mission the chicken shit waited til i had 10 ships hitting me to even attemt the fight
Khalia Nestune > actually, you warped into the next room before I reached you
Khalia Nestune > thanks for taking all the agro
Khalia Nestune > =)
Mythicon > yea Chicken Shit you are a bad ass
Khalia Nestune > sorry, was that drake expensive?
Khalia Nestune > maybe next time you won’t shoot at people in your missions 😉
Mythicon > not really all my shit came from missions
Mythicon > yea my mission you where trying to loot dumb ass
Khalia Nestune > and see, you could have just ignored me
Khalia Nestune > and saved yourself a drake
Brothr > so myth u shot at khal and concord shot u down???
Mythicon > na next time i see you i will just wait and kill you easy enough
Khalia Nestune > Yes, obviously so easy 😉
Mythicon > No he killed my in my mission while i had aggro
Mythicon > No Concord because he was looting my mission
Brothr > oh ic
Mythicon > NO he was Looting
Khalia Nestune > Myth-tard doesn’t realize that other people have bigger ships 😉
Mythicon > He is nother but a Petty Thief
Khalia Nestune > Don’t shoot Ninjas! We bite back.
Khalia Nestune > Sir, I am an EXCEPTIONAL thief.
Mythicon > if i didn’t have all aggro you would have lost your ships
RANIDEKI > hahaha
Mythicon > no Petty can’t even do your own missions
Khalia Nestune > I wonder if anyone got the movie reference
Khalia Nestune > and thank you for taking that agro! I’ve always relied on the kindness… wait, the stupidity…. of mission runners
Mythicon > don’t worry hope you like sitting in station for al while
Khalia Nestune > why would I do that?
Khalia Nestune > heh he logged

It gets better. I’m recounting this story a short while later to another Ninja, by name of Pyth2. By pure luck, Pyth2 has scanned down Mythicon who is back at work on the same mission! So we both show up in salvage frigates and proceed to salvage and loot right under Mythicon’s nose while he finishes off the rats. Apparently he has learned, because he never even targets us.

The tears in local got epic when one of our War Targets tried to cash in and use Mythicon to locate us:

Khalia Nestune > thanks for tanking that for us, Myth
Khalia Nestune > oh and shooting the rats too
Mythicon > little thief
Khalia Nestune > I love you too
Pyth2 > <3
Pyth2 > That will be 50 000 ISK Myth, for intersteller waste cleanup
Pyth2 > To both myself, and khalia
Khalia Nestune > Yeah, stop leaving your wrecks around
Mythicon > Pyth2 Khalia Nestune these two
Khalia Nestune > making lag
Pyth2 > This product or service brought to you by suddenly Ninjas
Pyth2 > Yoink!
Khalia Nestune > Your tears fuel our ships
Khalia Nestune > And I’m good for a while now
Pyth2 > I use them to clean my windsheild. Nothing cleans it like beartears
Johncrab > nice one blocking me Myth, shows you how you should be nice to people. those 2 are wt’s to me, you would have fleeted me up and i would have nailed them. your loss
Pyth2 > Hi johncrab!
Pyth2 > How you doing mate?
Johncrab > hate stupid people
Khalia Nestune > ROFL
Khalia Nestune > omg lol
Pyth2 > He really was a dumb one, lost a drake to khalia
Pyth2 > Came back in another drake, so broke ass he couldn’t even afford drones
Pyth2 > I almost -almost- pitied him enough to let him have some loot.
Johncrab > lol

It was a good day to be a Ninja.

In which Paul Clavet is a moron

Posted in Combat, Ninja Salvaging on July 10, 2009 by paul

So last night’s NinjaFleet Salvage TearOp was a success by attendance standards, and we even killed a T2-fitted Drake! It was at a high cost, however.

Early in the op, we were salvaging and looting the field of one Hellz Hitman, when he started shooting at members of NinjaFleet, then warped off. Those with aggro warped out, retrieved gank ships, and warped back in, sitting on the gate and waiting for him to return.

When they announced that he had arrived and been pointed, I warped out and back in to the gate to watch the light show. I even targeted him in hopes of freaking him out/causing him to CONCORDOKKEN himself on me. When I saw that he was trying to warp scramble me, the following was broadcast on voice:

Hey guys, he’s trying to scram me! Oh, here comes CONCORD and… Wait. Crap. Nooo!

I had been looting his mission with all the rest. To his credit, he knew he was going to die, and had the presence of mind to pop the expensive frigate first, followed by several other frigs and a cruiser.

I should never have assumed that nothing was up when he left and came back. I should never have come to watch when he had aggro on me and I had nothing on him. I should never have warped to zero. I should never have presumed I was safe, even in such a large fleet. Lessons learned.

My public shame. I estimate my losses at 120 million ISK. This ship had served me well for over a month of intense salvaging, so she had paid for herself in ISK and tears, but it was still depressing to lose an expensive asset in such a boneheaded way. The loss represents about two days of income on my trading alt, but still… it hurts!

But that’s OK, because we also got his Drake.

I haven’t sorted through the loot yet, but the take should be decent for the op. At one point we had 21 people in fleet with only one alt, making it the largest NinjaFleet to date. Warping into a room with 60 wrecks, seeing 15 purple names pop into your overview, scatter, DEVOUR the field, and warp away in under 90 seconds or so… it’s magical. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it. Not a lot of tears were had, but several missionbears were very impressed with the display.

As for the Firetail, I’ve already fitted a replacement. I’m going a different route this time, giving up the silly notion of running all my salvagers, tractors, AB, and scanners at once in order to break the 2k/second barrier. Whee!

JeepGeneral and jasia: You’d think they would learn.

Posted in Delicious Tears, Duffers, Ninja Salvaging on July 6, 2009 by paul

Don’t shoot at ninja salvagers. Bad things happen.

One of my six or so scan hits is a missionrunning duo of jasia in a Megathron and JeepGeneral in a Dominix. It’s a very large-single room mission with lots of waves of mostly small and medium Angel NPCs with a few larges thrown in. The first time I warp in, there are only a few wrecks, so I figure they are either just getting started or are salvaging as they go. I make a notation on my bookmark to check back later, and go hit my other results, making about 15 million ISK in salvage and loot.

I return at just the right time: They are popping the last battlecruiser. I drop my calling card (A can containing a bookmark to Dodixie M20, labeled “Yoink! Suddenly, Ninjas!”), engage the afterburner on my Firetail, zoom out to get a feel for the layout of the field, and get to work. Both missionbears target me, but that’s not unusual. They’re waiting for me to loot and hoping that I won’t be able to get away before they can pop me.

I’m working my way through the field, about 40 klicks away from both idling missionrunners, when suddenly jasia goes red! I throw the cat off my lap to free up my left hand and assess the situation. Did I loot earlier and not remember it? No. Surely he didn’t… he did! I start grabbing screenshots.



Without a word, I stop what I’m doing and warp back to station, retrieving my loot Kestrel. As I’m powering toward the Megathron’s wreck, I open a convo to jasia:

Paul Clavet > o/
jasia > ?
Paul Clavet > Zbikoki’s Hacker Card
Paul Clavet > Do you need this?
Paul Clavet > I got it off your ship
jasia > its for a mission
Paul Clavet > 2M and it’s yours
Paul Clavet > Why did you shoot at me without aggro? Didn’t you know what would happen?
jasia > no thanks. i said its for a mission. it was completed long ago
jasia > and yes i did
jasia > i was hoping i could pop you before i got popped
jasia > a risk i was willing to take for somebody like you
Paul Clavet > well
Paul Clavet > thanks for the T2 loot
Paul Clavet > I’m gonna go finish salvaging your field now
jasia > see you in the very near future
Paul Clavet > I look forward to it! I’m always up for angel loot and T2 missionrunner gear.

I collect his mostly T2 equipment and drones, totaling maybe 30 million ISK, and go back to get my firetail. When I arrive, JeepGeneral has returned in a Catalyst. I scoot over next to him and salvage every wreck as he tractors them to us. After about five minutes of this, he realizes that he hasn’t gotten a single wreck and warps off. I salvage the entire field, and loot it for good measure.

Look, people. This is not WoW. Just because you’re in the spaceship equivalent of a level 60 pwnwarrior of doom doesn’t mean you can one-shot any little salvaging bunny that crosses your path. No missionrunner who is fitted for the L4 missions I salvage is equipped to one-shot a Minmatar faction frigate going 2km/s. If you carry webs, and warp scramblers, and tiny drones, and fast-tracking guns you MIGHT kill me before CONCORD comes in to gank your very expensive ship, but you won’t get much done in your missions. You still lose your nice ship, and I go back to pick up one of my three spare fitted Firetails.

When you shoot at ninjas, things happen. Bad things.

Tearful Taste: Hiko Seijiro

Posted in Delicious Tears, Ninja Salvaging on July 3, 2009 by paul

(This is a new feature, where I present a short conversation log without comment. While not as epic as Tears Features, I do find snippets satisfying enough to share.)

Paul Clavet > o/
Hiko Seijiro > hi, why are you in my mission place?
Paul Clavet > What? This is my salvage mission
Paul Clavet > the agent gave me this BM
Hiko Seijiro > wrong.
Paul Clavet > oh?
Hiko Seijiro > it’s my location.
Hiko Seijiro > you want it, you kill the guys
Hiko Seijiro > i’m going afk for a long time.
Paul Clavet > Maybe they changed it, and we both got it
Paul Clavet > ok, I’ll check back later
Hiko Seijiro > astrometrics?
Paul Clavet > I’ll be doing this all day 🙂
Hiko Seijiro > i don’t think you’re funny

NinjaFleet TearOp Report, July 3, 2009

Posted in Combat, Delicious Tears, Duffers, Ninja Salvaging on July 3, 2009 by paul

Also titled: Don’t shoot at NinjaFleet.
Also titled: Don’t make RL threats on Eve.
Also titled: NinjaFleet gets rich.

I’ll keep this short and sweet, because it’s very late and I’m tired.

We had our regularly-scheduled TearOp. Just with normal loot and salvage it was a success with over 120 million ISK raised.

But we also popped two missionrunners.

Here are their stories.

Kimdir learns a valuable lesson: Don’t shoot at Ninjafleet.

So we’re all salvaging along, some of us looting, when Kimdir gets uppity and takes a potshot at Michella. Now, Michella has only been a member for about three days, but has been playing Eve since 2004. Michella bugs out and returns with a Drake. She puts a point on the missionrunner and blows her Dominix to smithereens. The killboard link is here for your viewing pleasure. Note the very nice and very expensive Gallente Navy Neutron Blaster Cannon that dropped.

Anton Tetravus learns many valuable lessons, most of them fatal.

So at this point, our night is made. I even consider turning in for the evening, but I’m talked out of it by NinjaFleet members.

Soon, we’re salvaging and looting the field of one Anton Tetravus, in a very expensive and rare battleship called a Caldari Navy Raven. He too gets uppity, and takes a shot at Emizeko Chai. Now, Emizeko is a relative newbie, and she’s not actually a member of TEARS yet, just a friend who started hanging out in Ninja Alliance chat and coming along on salvage ops. Her only pew ship is a Thorax cruiser. Even with good Remote-Repair support available, I am not optimistic as she darts off to get her little blaster boat.

Figuring he must be onto something if he got Emziko to run, Anton Tetravus also takes a pot shot at Velocity Prime, CEO of Suddenly Ninjas. Now, Velocity Prime is experienced in the way of the pew, and well-equipped for it. Besides, I heard a rumor that he’s a former marine commando and can kill a man with a blade of grass. Prime docks up and comes out with an Abaddon battleship.

Emizeko warps in first, warp scrambles the Caldari Navy Raven, and immediately starts getting shredded. The remote-repair ship flown by Aegamaeous comes in right behind her, healing the rifts in her small hull as they are formed by the missiles from the CNR. It’s going very, very slowly. The cruiser simply will not be able to break the shields of the CNR. Velocity Prime arrives in his battleship and starts dumping large laser fire into the faction ship.

It takes a little while. Figuring that the ship alone is worth over 400 million ISK, I convo Anton Tetravus and offer him a way out.

Anton Tetravus > Yes?
Paul Clavet > 500M for your ship
Anton Tetravus > I don’t have that much money.
Paul Clavet > how unfortunate
Anton Tetravus > And you started this in high sex.
Anton Tetravus > sec*
Paul Clavet > How much do you have?
Anton Tetravus > 145 mill.
Paul Clavet > Come up with the money soon I guess
Paul Clavet > Or eject 😀
Anton Tetravus > Look, just stop shooting, dude. You started it.
Anton Tetravus > Don’t be an ass.
Paul Clavet > No, you shot at a ninja
Paul Clavet > So you lose your ship
Anton Tetravus > He went hostile on me.
Paul Clavet > unless you pay 500M
Paul Clavet > Get it from corpies, whatever
Anton Tetravus > Look, ceasefire and I will attempt to get money.
Paul Clavet > You have 30 seconds
Anton Tetravus > Please.
Anton Tetravus > I need more time.
Paul Clavet > clock’s ticking
Anton Tetravus > What part of I need more time do you not understand?
Paul Clavet > Eject, you’ll get your ship back
Paul Clavet > we keep the modules
Paul Clavet > otherwise it all dies
Anton Tetravus > No.
Paul Clavet > Nope, you’re dead
Paul Clavet > Sorry we couldn’t come to an agreement
Anton Tetravus > Goddammit, two minutes>

(Pop goes the CNR.)

Paul Clavet > Terribly sorry.
Paul Clavet > Don’t shoot at ninjas next time
Anton Tetravus > You’re a reall asshole, shitstain.
Paul Clavet > Your tears sustain me
Anton Tetravus > I don’t get vengeance on Eve, trust me. I have better ways.
Paul Clavet > What are you saying?
(His last statement wasn’t clear enough to get the ban stick.)
Anton Tetravus > Heh, you’ll see. It’s always more fun to fuck with real life than virtual.
Anton Tetravus > See ya.
Paul Clavet > Enjoy your ban
Anton Tetravus > enjoy your empty bank account.
Paul Clavet > LOL
Paul Clavet > By the way, I’m blogging this
Paul Clavet >
Anton Tetravus > 🙂 I’d suggest cancelling the credit card you use to pay for eve within the next six hours.
Paul Clavet > ROFL
Paul Clavet > have fun
Anton Tetravus > Oh dude, you have no idea.
Paul Clavet > I believe I do
Paul Clavet > You’re so angry, especially now since you’re going to get a ban
Anton Tetravus > No, not angry, just aggrieved. That’s more fun.

Now, folks. Don’t do this. Don’t ever do this. Eve is a game. I do some pretty terrible things to people in the game universe of Eve Online, and hosting a blog where I publicly mock them is one of those things. CCP has stated that everything I do is “within bounds” of play, and I can’t get in trouble for it. Threatening real crimes in the real world, though? That’s a line that you must not ever cross. I’m told by my corpies that a threat like this pretty much rates an account-level ban of the player. This means that their characters, I’m told, will be wiped from the face of the Eve universe as if they never existed, their fields salted, etc.

Besides, if you’re going to make threats, do it with a name that can’t be easily traced back to your real name and hometown with Google. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Anyway, here’s the kill mail. Note the very, very, exceedingly, stupidly, redonkulously expensive faction fittings.

Yeah. Totaling everything up, we pulled approximately 1,247,350,000 ISK during that three-hour op. Excluding me (I never take a cut) each of the 10 players will receive over 100,000,000 ISK each, plus special bonuses for those whose combat efforts made such numbers possible in the first place.

It’s a good day to be a ninja.

It’s a bad day to be an overaggressive dolt of a missionrunner.