My Loot, Your Tears

Great post over at Rifter Experiences by Shoopusmahwhoopus, who I understand is getting started on the bait-and-gank and griefer lifestyle. With three days and just a couple hours of work, he robbed a new-ish carebear corp blind, including the Orca they had just purchased for their CEO to use. Shoopus says that his conscience is yelling at him, but he needs to understand that by burning these carebears early, he actually saved them from a much larger grief later when their assets have grown. To give out director-level access to someone you just met, and give them the most valuable asset you have only a couple of days later requires an incredibly foolish amount of trust.

The post includes a video of the hangar-cleaning and ganks. I highly recommend the blog.

My security status dropped to -3.00 over night, from an event which I’ll post up here after the video footage becomes available. Because of this I’ve moved operations to Emolgranlan until I am able to bribe CONCORD into letting me back in Dodixie.

My very first attempt to find some action in Emolgranlan found a fellow named Outlaw5tar and his Maelstrom, making Minmatar space a safer place by destroying Angel Cartel operatives. Of course this leaves a lot of space debris and I was quick to help clean this up.

Outlaw5tar, no doubt unfamiliar with our services, hailed me and we had a nice chat.

[15:54:02] 0utlaw5tar > may i help you?
[15:54:11] Khalia Nestune > I thought I could help you, actually
[15:54:17] 0utlaw5tar > no
[15:54:18] 0utlaw5tar > you cant
[15:54:21] Khalia Nestune > lots of trash here I can clean up for you
[15:54:22] 0utlaw5tar > so you might as well leave
[15:54:26] 0utlaw5tar > its ok
[15:54:29] 0utlaw5tar > i got it taken care of
[15:54:40] Khalia Nestune > no no, I know people often feel shy
[15:55:14] Khalia Nestune > I’m glad to provide this service
[15:56:09] Khalia Nestune > you seem to be collecting a lot of large ships near you
[15:56:17] Khalia Nestune > I’ll clean those up as soon as I can
[15:57:07] Khalia Nestune > no worries, I can clean this up and you can finish these off whenever you like
[15:58:09] 0utlaw5tar > kk
[15:58:13] 0utlaw5tar > thanks for the service
[15:58:26] Khalia Nestune > you’re quite welcome!

Outlaw5tar must have some unfinished business as he leaves the area. He returns a few minutes later, and seems to have some problems with his targeting systems, as it establishes a lock on me.

[16:01:12] 0utlaw5tar > ill let you know when i am done if you would like
[16:01:34] Khalia Nestune > sounds good
[16:07:16] 0utlaw5tar > you should just wait a minute
[16:07:18] 0utlaw5tar > then it will be all yours
[16:07:26] Khalia Nestune > please go ahead
[16:07:35] Khalia Nestune > I can work around you

He leaves again.

[16:10:46] 0utlaw5tar > damnit you made me forget ammo
[16:11:05] Khalia Nestune > ah, a bit forgetful minded are we
[16:11:17] 0utlaw5tar > i got worried cause i thought you were going to take my missions objective
[16:11:21] Khalia Nestune > I think I can drop some from these wrecks if you’d like
[16:11:25] 0utlaw5tar > i have had that happened to me before
[16:11:48] Khalia Nestune > there is an objective other than shoot everything?
[16:11:59] 0utlaw5tar > see thats what i thought
[16:12:03] 0utlaw5tar > but there isnt
[16:12:07] 0utlaw5tar > i just looked again
[16:12:47] Khalia Nestune > well the, your Gist battleships await you
[16:13:30] 0utlaw5tar > in warp now

Well now, Outlaw5tar has returned with a Thrasher. Oh dear, he’s opening fire on me. Unfortunately my trusty Vigil has some issues aligning to something and warping out, and soon explodes.

[16:14:45] 0utlaw5tar > <3
[16:14:56] Khalia Nestune > tisk tisk, now I need to go get one of my replacements
[16:15:04] Khalia Nestune > it’s a good thing vigils are cheap
[16:15:08] Khalia Nestune > and I keep a large stock on hand
[16:15:15] 0utlaw5tar > good for you
[16:15:45] Khalia Nestune > SCC is very good about these occasinal losses, thanks to insurance

Well I’m going to have to be a little more careful. Unfortunately the market for Vigils in Emol is dry and I have to fit a Rifter to complete my duties in cleaning the field. I come back and clean up my previous wreck and a few others. My hold soon fills up and I have to leave.

[16:36:07] 0utlaw5tar > you dont want to play with me anymore/
[16:36:14] Khalia Nestune > hold is full, sir
[16:36:18] Khalia Nestune > I shall be back =)

I return and continue my work. However Outlaw5tar seems to be intent on keeping me from my appointed rounds and eventually opens fire. At such a massive distance I suffer no harm, and Outlaw5tar immediately leaves… and leaves his drones?

[16:42:46] Khalia Nestune > leaving so soon?
[16:44:53] Khalia Nestune > I’m afraid your drones have met an untimely demise :(
[16:45:04] 0utlaw5tar > its ok
[16:45:07] 0utlaw5tar > i got them for free
[16:46:25] Khalia Nestune > pity, they have such good market value
[16:46:41] 0utlaw5tar > ill survive
[16:47:05] Khalia Nestune > tsk tsk tho, you really should take care of your drones better
[16:47:53] 0utlaw5tar > its ok
[16:47:58] 0utlaw5tar > its just a game
[16:48:15] Khalia Nestune > Sir. internet spaceships are serious business!
[16:48:45] 0utlaw5tar > indeed they are

At this point I am a little worried, so I decide to stay at the location of the Angel Cartel’s camp with a Covert Ops ship so I can monitor when 0utlaw5tar returns. I am rather miffed by the loss of my trusty Vigil, and I do believe he needs to learn a lesson. When he returns a few minutes later, I retrieve my Harbinger battlecruiser and open fire on his ship.

Unsurprisingly between my fire and the Angel Cartel ships, he soon crumbles into wreckage (which I have to clean up, of course).

[16:59:38] 0utlaw5tar > lol
[16:59:42] 0utlaw5tar > i was watching lost
[17:00:19] Khalia Nestune > I am afraid it is you who is lost, in all senses
[17:00:33] 0utlaw5tar > snap you sir are cunning with words
[17:00:40] Khalia Nestune > *bow*
[17:02:57] Khalia Nestune > oh snap
[17:03:00] Khalia Nestune > faction loot
[17:03:25] 0utlaw5tar > win!!!
[17:03:41] Khalia Nestune > or lose
[17:03:42] Khalia Nestune > heh

If you’ll note in the time stamps, it took over an hour for this scenario to play itself out. Be patient, be persistent, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

Short one before I log for the night. Find a one Niccolo Duku running a Krull’s Pleasure Hub in his Dominix.

Niccolo doesn’t like me very much, but refrains from firing until he’s warped out and back in a few times and is certain I ain’t going away. I retrieve the Batmobile Abbadon and start taking out pieces of armor. I open a convo and request a 50m ransom, which is met with silence.

But then! Hark! A Pilgrim warps in onto me – same corp – and starts firing and using a tracking disruptor on me. I have a brief “Awwww crap” moment, until I realize that the Dominix is already in hull and my drones are slowly picking him to death.

Seconds before the Dominix explodes into dust the Pilgrim warps himself out, leaving me laughing out loud.

Nice try, guys of Dark Industries, but your plans need some work. +2 for planning, -10 for execution.

In a new attempt to cut down my turn-around time when looking for juicy mission runners to exploit, I fitted a salvager and an afterburner on my Anathema. This lets me drop right onto a likely target and start salvaging and looting right away.

I was pleased that the very first hit I tried with this new setup fell for the bait. Niickollas of Triton Dynamics LLC wasted no time in opening fire with his Abbadon.

I quickly returned with the GankAbbadon, but Niickollas was just out of overheated disruptor range, and fled to the Auvergene gate. Captain Charismatic and I made chase, until we had him camped in a station. We then fled system in the hopes he’d return through the Dodixie gate and be open to fire – well off the gate.

Indeed he did! But by this time my aggression timer had run out. Niickolas went back to his mission and we went back for our salvaging ships for further harassment.

Apparently not aware of ‘once bitten, twice shy’, Niickolas fired on me once again. Captain Charismatic stuck around as a decoy, until he too was on the receiving end of laser fire. To up the ante, another Triton Dynamics pilot, Garil Xolte, warped in with a RR Dominix to back up Niickolas in an Abbadon.

Charismatic has a gank Raven. I have a gank Abbadon. This was going to end badly for someone, and that someone was not us.

While Charismatic was retrieving his Raven, my Abbadon arrived and started blowing large sections off the Dominix and holding out against their combined fire – I love having a massive buffer tank. Don’t forget to fit your resist against the other guys’ weapons, kids!

Fellow ninja Onilan answered the call for help and arrived with cruiser-sized RR, which was much appreciated. Garil Xolte’s Dominix soon vanished in a puff of smoke. Seconds later Charismatic’s Raven dropped onto Niickolas’ head, and the Abbadon became so much scrap metal. I gave Onilan a 10M ISK “hazardous duty pay” bonus, we grabbed all the drops, high-fived, and went off to celebrate.

No tears to be had from these fellows, but we left the usual “don’t shoot at ninjas” advice in Dodixie local. One thing I was surprised about was Niickolas did not prealign to a station and warp when it was clear the Dominix was going to die. I had only one point and Charismatic was not yet on the scene when the Dominix went down. Niickolas could have saved his Abbadon, but I suppose his corp have an e-honor “fight to the death” code or something silly.

No good pictures this time, but Charismatic got good video from his point of view. It starts after he’s arrived in the Raven and the Dominix has already died. You can hear me on vent, and only me apparently. I ended up forgetting to turn off my afterburner and got so close my lasers were missing, as well as capping out even with my cap boosters running. Next time, I will remember to use ‘orbit’. =)

EDIT: For your pleasure, video action of this kill. You can blame Charismatic for not locking on the Raven until the very end. :P

It’s 0800 UTC, which means Dodixie’s population is down to 200, and finding any good mission runners is difficult. Captain Charismatic hits a home run and finds us a Raven pilot in a Worlds Collide mission. What a…. ‘nice’ name, obgyn kANOBI.

obgyn shoots wrecks, so we proceed to sit on top of his NPCs and grab loot as he kills them. When he eventually warps out, we warp out too, right back onto the entry gate. Sure enough he arrives moments later. Our plan works! He locks me and fires.

So here’s where things get hilarious. I tell Charismatic to keep obgyn kANOBI occupied while I get the Gank Abbadon. As it turns out, I warp to the wrong station in Dodixie. TWICE. Charismatic wins my personal “Diversion Tactics Hero” award for keeping obgyn occupied by chatting with him, for the 12 minutes it takes me to get the Abbadon, warp back, and burn to the next gate.

[ 2010.02.01 07:31:25 ] obgyn kANOBI >
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:31 ] Captain Charismatic > that wasn’t very nice
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:44 ] obgyn kANOBI > why hes red
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:51 ] Captain Charismatic > :(
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:54 ] Captain Charismatic > Because he looted
[ 2010.02.01 07:31:58 ] obgyn kANOBI > tell him to come back
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:04 ] Captain Charismatic > and get shot?
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:27 ] obgyn kANOBI > plzz im really bord…ill buy u a new ship =)
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:28 ] Captain Charismatic > just go do your mission
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:35 ] Captain Charismatic > let us help
[ 2010.02.01 07:32:39 ] Captain Charismatic > :)
[ 2010.02.01 07:33:10 ] obgyn kANOBI > ummm ok mabe we should gang up ? lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:33:25 ] Captain Charismatic > :( you just wnna shoot me 2
[ 2010.02.01 07:33:50 ] obgyn kANOBI > sure i hate empire…..used to living in 0.0 =/
[ 2010.02.01 07:34:25 ] Captain Charismatic > ah
[ 2010.02.01 07:35:11 ] obgyn kANOBI > might b looking 4 a pirate corp 4 some low sec fun
[ 2010.02.01 07:35:39 ] Captain Charismatic > lowsec is awesome
[ 2010.02.01 07:36:21 ] obgyn kANOBI > yea every friggen alliance i get into ends up sucking balls..so fuck em want to fuck with plp
[ 2010.02.01 07:36:33 ] Captain Charismatic > same
[ 2010.02.01 07:36:56 ] obgyn kANOBI > i podded some fucker talking shit in jita it was soooo funny
[ 2010.02.01 07:37:09 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:37:33 ] obgyn kANOBI > hay man if u guys want salvage i aint gunna fuck with you’s
[ 2010.02.01 07:38:10 ] obgyn kANOBI > just leave me a few bs’s to salvage
[ 2010.02.01 07:38:22 ] Captain Charismatic > ok
[ 2010.02.01 07:39:11 ] obgyn kANOBI > fuck i keep forgetting to turn hardners on
[ 2010.02.01 07:39:25 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:39:58 ] obgyn kANOBI > im stoned…><
[ 2010.02.01 07:40:03 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:41:56 ] Captain Charismatic > :)

Having previously scanned his Raven, I know he’s LOL-fit with Heavy Missiles and a pure passive tank. But even I am shocked how fast he dies after I get a point put the heavy lasers on him. Killmail is here.

Here’s him just before KABOOM; notice how much damage I’ve (not) taken!

Another fine action photo from Captain Charismatic Gank Photography, LLC:

Our very unfriendly Jedi provides some tears for us, in private:

[ 2010.02.01 07:42:19 ] obgyn kANOBI > ahhh
[ 2010.02.01 07:42:35 ] Captain Charismatic > POOOOOOOF
[ 2010.02.01 07:42:54 ] Captain Charismatic > woosh rite?
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:03 ] obgyn kANOBI > what a fag way to kill me let the rats do it rofl
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:05 ] Captain Charismatic > DOn’t shoot ninjas next time.
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:14 ] obgyn kANOBI > yea hang on ill brb
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:35 ] obgyn kANOBI > oh yea suck my cock and thanks for giving me a reason to dec your dumb ass
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:46 ] Captain Charismatic > lol
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:51 ] Captain Charismatic > Bring it on :)
[ 2010.02.01 07:43:56 ] Captain Charismatic > More people to shoot at

And then in local:

[ 2010.02.01 07:46:29 ] Khalia Nestune > Mr kanobi is not a very good jedi.
http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=9336808
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:02 ] Shaloth > Lol where did that happen? xD
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:14 ] Khalia Nestune > right here, about 5 minutes ago =)
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:27 ] Shaloth > what kind of a raven set up is that xD
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:33 ] Khalia Nestune > failraven
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:37 ] Shaloth > LOL
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:44 ] Shaloth > i just noticed the heavys on it WTF?
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:51 ] Khalia Nestune > it’s the new thing to do
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:52 ] Shaloth > even more fail
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:52 ] obgyn kANOBI > hay these fagget “pirates” Captain Charismatic and his gay bunch of merry men can only kill u if your shields are down from rats
[ 2010.02.01 07:48:59 ] Khalia Nestune > he had some racing stripes on it too
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:16 ] Captain Charismatic > LOL
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:20 ] Brusanan > With that fitting I’m surprised the rats didn’t kill you before they got there
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:22 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > some1’s having a bad day :(
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:29 ] obgyn kANOBI > yaea u guys pwnd me
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:35 ] Captain Charismatic > Your raven took less than a minute to get wtfpwned
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:37 ] Khalia Nestune > I love you too, kanobi. Let’s be friends.
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:37 ] Captain Charismatic > WTF is that
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:39 ] Khalia Nestune > CAREBEAR HUG
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:46 ] obgyn kANOBI > xoxo
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:47 ] Captain Charismatic > CAREBEAR STARE
[ 2010.02.01 07:49:53 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > how did you manage to lose a raven handsome ?.
[ 2010.02.01 07:50:16 ] Captain Charismatic > Lol, man…. you actyually believed me and kept talking…. 12 minutes!
[ 2010.02.01 07:50:26 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > canflip ?
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:03 ] Captain Charismatic > And yes kenobi, crying in local will get you places
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:09 ] Khalia Nestune > Yes, Charismatic gets the Diversion Hero award for keeping oblivious kenobi occupied until I got back with the gank
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:22 ] Khalia Nestune > Lolita: shot at me after I looted his mission wreck
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:23 ] Captain Charismatic > rofl
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:30 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > omg lol.
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:53 ] Captain Charismatic > man I’m lolin ghard
[ 2010.02.01 07:51:54 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > obviously ebayed.
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:24 ] Khalia Nestune > We sat on his BS rats when he tried to shoot his wrecks
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:37 ] Khalia Nestune > So when he warped out, we warped back on the gate and waited for him
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:44 ] Khalia Nestune > And sure enough, he shows up moments later
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:48 ] Captain Charismatic > THen he came in and shot khal
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:56 ] Captain Charismatic > and I convo’d and kept him blabbing
[ 2010.02.01 07:52:58 ] Khalia Nestune > Shoot a few useless heavies at my vigil
[ 2010.02.01 07:53:05 ] Lolita Gorgoroth > if ships were a measure of skill, he should be in a little t1 frig like me ;)
[ 2010.02.01 07:53:12 ] Captain Charismatic > While khal went to the wrong station :P
[ 2010.02.01 07:53:17 ] Khalia Nestune > ah ha he ragelogged!

A great Sunday afternoon for some mayhem and tears in Dodixie. I was all set for some solo salvage and bait-gank, but an impromptu fleet formed out of members of The Ninja Alliance channel.

After a successful but boring Dominix kill, I was looking for better blood. We got this in the form of a Vagabond who arrived on top of us while salvaging a field. This being his mission he was none too happy, and opened fire on me. While the fleet was keeping him busy I went for the Gank Abbadon (aka “Goodbye, Mr. Bond”).

I knew this was going to be a challenge, since the Vagabond has massive speed advantage and 90% base EM shield resist – not good against my large beam lasers! One of our ninja fleet members craftily lured GR3VER close to the gate warp-in, allowing me to drop in on him inside web range.

Much to my surprise, instead of getting well the hell outside web range and shooting me from a distance, he started orbiting me at close range. I put drones out and killed all his drones, then sat them on him. We then entered a stalemate – I could not hit him with lasers and my drones wouldn’t break his shield tank. Meanwhile he was picking away slowly at my buffer tank. Fleet member Zarago brought some RR. GR3VER’s next bad idea was to shoot at Zarago – who promptly went to get some guns of his own.

At this point it was getting a little tense, because I was almost through my armor buffer. We were further complicated because this was a mission which required the Imperial Navy Gate Permit and we kept not having one on the right person. Much yelling on Vent. =)

Zarago finally got back to the fight and put a second web and guns on the Vagabond. Soon things looked like this:

and then very shortly like this – click image for killmail:

Rifter pilot (and great picture) is Captain Charismatic. Charismatic did an excellent follow up job on getting tears from GR3VER.

In all, an exciting and enjoyable fight. We all had a great time.

One thing I’m left thinking: GR3VER was a horrible Vagabond pilot. He could have easily pointed away from me, overheated his afterburner, and gotten out of web range. After that, easy sailing to get out of point and warp. Why to fools fly fall in love fly HACs?

Getting toward the end of a slow night in Dodixie, I found a Raven pilot running a large Angel mission. It wasn’t looking good, but I went in and grabbed some stuff. He fired after the last wreck was gone, but I went for my pew ship and sat on the first gate.

Or that’s what I would have done, but he had closed the mission. Thankfully I still had a few BMs of the rooms, so I tired those. Nothing after a few minutes, so I go back and pick up the Vigil for more salvaging. Come back and find a Hawk on dscan.

Go back for pew, he’s not there again… etc etc.

Eventually the stars align and he warps into one of the rooms just as I do. I start locking him, not hopefully, because my Abbadon will take about 15 seconds to lock his Hawk. To my surprise, he locks and starts pointing me! Either brave or stupid, this one.

I get a point, web, and neuts on him. My T2 drones come out, and I put some distance for my large guns to get hits on him. He tries to get away, but soon goes POP:

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=9315456#mail

I was going to convo, but he ragelogged moments later =)

Yawn. I enter the mission and steal a T1 1MN afterburner. The Dominix shoots. I retrieve JerkTengu from the Orca and, after selecting the correct damage type, start knocking big chunks of carebear armor off.

Paul Clavet > 50M ISK for your ship
PQLSEHUNDEN > Stop fireing at least..
Paul Clavet > you have 30 seconds to comply
PQLSEHUNDEN > Sure xD
PQLSEHUNDEN > How do I know that you won’t take down my ship afterwards..?
Paul Clavet > I won’t be able to get more ransoms if I don’t honor them
Paul Clavet > stop repairing
Paul Clavet > no tricks
PQLSEHUNDEN > So you say…
PQLSEHUNDEN > That’s what they all say…
Paul Clavet > fine then
(I start shooting again)
PQLSEHUNDEN > Okay, I’ll comply..
(He pays 50M)
PQLSEHUNDEN > PLease warp out now..?
Paul Clavet > SUDDENLY BETRAYAL

Boom.

Paul Clavet > Now then, what have we learned?
PQLSEHUNDEN > T3’s are gay..?

Wrong. The correct lesson is: Never trust an Honorless Internet Jerk.

Freaking awesome.

If you like what you see on my blog and want to commit similar capers, consider joining Suddenly Ninjas.

So I’m poking along in my Vigil, cleaning up the last of my scan hits. I warp to a Dominix hit that is half an hour old, nearly guaranteeing that the goods will be long gone when I arrive. Only in this case, what I find is a Dominix tractoring a can called “Tugboat”.

I speed over to the can, which is full of loot and salvage, flip it, and immediately start my Orca pilot warping in to scoop it. I expect nothing more than a silent warp-off or maybe some mild tears, but just as the Orca finishes aligning and leaps into warp, the Dominix locks and fires upon my main’s vigil.

The Orca lands and I improvise, speed-swapping my Vigil for JerkTengu, then falling into a 10km orbit around the Domi and engaging my warp disruptor. After changing to explosive damage, it’s clear that he will have to run his reppers full-out to keep up, and his capacitor just wasn’t going to take it. It’s usually futile to try to ransom dirt-cheap Dominixes, but it’s also usually useless to try to get them to shoot at you, too, so I try.

[ 2010.01.15 06:05:40 ] Paul Clavet > o/
[ 2010.01.15 06:05:45 ] Paul Clavet > 100M or your ship dies
[ 2010.01.15 06:05:51 ] STWizard > damn, i didn’t know that was a tech3
[ 2010.01.15 06:05:56 ] Paul Clavet > I am of course open to counter-offers
[ 2010.01.15 06:06:11 ] STWizard > crap i thougt i was fighting a tech 1 ship
[ 2010.01.15 06:06:23 ] Paul Clavet > You going to pay up, or just die hilariously?
[ 2010.01.15 06:06:26 ] STWizard > i cant afford to loose this ship
[ 2010.01.15 06:06:32 ] Paul Clavet > How much are you willing to pay?
[ 2010.01.15 06:06:33 ] STWizard > how much?
[ 2010.01.15 06:07:09 ] Paul Clavet > 100 million

Ding. He pays. I resume firing.

[ 2010.01.15 06:07:43 ] STWizard > was that right?
[ 2010.01.15 06:07:47 ] STWizard > damn
[ 2010.01.15 06:07:52 ] Paul Clavet > BETRAYAL
[ 2010.01.15 06:08:10 ] STWizard > please let ship go
[ 2010.01.15 06:08:21 ] Paul Clavet > send 50M more and I’ll let you go
[ 2010.01.15 06:08:40 ] STWizard > ok
[ 2010.01.15 06:08:47 ] STWizard > can you let ship go please
[ 2010.01.15 06:09:04 ] Paul Clavet > for 50M, yes

Of course, I once again resume firing.

Boom.

[ 2010.01.15 06:09:29 ] STWizard > it is done
[ 2010.01.15 06:09:30 ] Paul Clavet > OMG, you are about as dumb as a box of rocks
[ 2010.01.15 06:09:53 ] STWizard > i am not a pvper
[ 2010.01.15 06:10:10 ] Paul Clavet > Apparently not
[ 2010.01.15 06:10:22 ] STWizard > why are you not honoring your aggreement?
[ 2010.01.15 06:10:33 ] Paul Clavet > Because I’m an Honorless Internet Jerk
[ 2010.01.15 06:11:40 ] Paul Clavet > so what have you learned?
[ 2010.01.15 06:12:10 ] STWizard > not to give money to piratess
[ 2010.01.15 06:12:15 ] Paul Clavet > I’m not a pirate
[ 2010.01.15 06:12:22 ] Paul Clavet > I’m a Jerk
[ 2010.01.15 06:13:08 ] STWizard > you stole my loot then killed my ship after extorting money, thats about as good a definition of piracy as i can think of
[ 2010.01.15 06:13:38 ] Paul Clavet > no no no, pirates go to lowsec and fight with honour
[ 2010.01.15 06:13:42 ] STWizard > what was I supposed to learn
[ 2010.01.15 06:14:15 ] STWizard > ok
[ 2010.01.15 06:14:31 ] Paul Clavet > That’ll be your homework for the week. I want 500 words on what you learned today, typed, in my office by Monday
[ 2010.01.15 06:14:32 ] STWizard > so then what you did was worse?
[ 2010.01.15 06:15:18 ] Paul Clavet > It was better for me, pirates usually have to choose between the loot and the ransom
[ 2010.01.15 06:15:23 ] Paul Clavet > I got both! See how neat that is?
[ 2010.01.15 06:16:05 ] STWizard > ok, so what would you have done?
[ 2010.01.15 06:16:27 ] STWizard > in a mission ship without countermeasures, and a scrambler
[ 2010.01.15 06:16:33 ] STWizard > against a tech3 ship
[ 2010.01.15 06:16:44 ] STWizard > nice tactic, btw
[ 2010.01.15 06:16:58 ] STWizard > i was wondering how i was gonna get that haul back to the station
[ 2010.01.15 06:17:13 ] STWizard > i like the tengu in the orca thing
[ 2010.01.15 06:18:14 ] STWizard > i did not like the loss of 150M plus my ship which i was comming to really care for
[ 2010.01.15 06:19:26 ] STWizard > so what would you have done in my shoes there?
[ 2010.01.15 06:19:48 ] Paul Clavet > Probably go buy a padded helmet and water wings?
[ 2010.01.15 06:21:41 ] STWizard > seriously, at least help me to understand what i did wrong
[ 2010.01.15 06:22:15 ] Paul Clavet > I’m not going to help you do your homework, Tyrone. I want that essay on my desk come monday morning, or you will find yourself failing this block of instruction.
[ 2010.01.15 06:26:27 ] STWizard > hmmm, ok. I see how its gonna be, so you are going to play the honorless thing thru. Thats cool.
[ 2010.01.15 06:27:43 ] Paul Clavet > I like to think it is.

From here, I hang around to try to extract tears and intel for a wardec. Hang in there, there’s more lulz to be had.

[ 2010.01.15 06:27:54 ] STWizard > i have never faced a tech3 ship b4
[ 2010.01.15 06:28:10 ] Paul Clavet > I wouldn’t say you faced this one per se
[ 2010.01.15 06:29:02 ] STWizard > i did for a little while till i reaized what i was, then i tried to run, hehehe
[ 2010.01.15 06:29:33 ] STWizard > what i saw was your prober ship
[ 2010.01.15 06:30:26 ] STWizard > although i was a little confused at first as to how you were gonna get the can away, till the orca showed up
[ 2010.01.15 06:31:01 ] STWizard > hehehe, then out pops the tengu and well that was bad cuz i didn’t even know what i was fighting till i saw it wasn’t dying
[ 2010.01.15 06:32:22 ] STWizard > my ship did better than i expected tho. tho with an orca you have the decided advantage.. if i had a scrambler i would have locked the orca and tried to get it, but it’s prolly tanked too
[ 2010.01.15 06:33:58 ] STWizard > if i asked you to meet me in the station for the other 50M would it have worked?
[ 2010.01.15 06:36:59 ] Paul Clavet > I just read the things you typed, and I don’t even know where to start
[ 2010.01.15 06:37:20 ] Paul Clavet > Basically, I weep for your future and hope that you’ll give me your stuff when you finally quit.
[ 2010.01.15 06:38:25 ] STWizard > that bad, eh?
[ 2010.01.15 06:38:49 ] Paul Clavet > Yeah, man. Pretty bad.
[ 2010.01.15 06:38:58 ] Paul Clavet > Please go take an Agony Unleashed class or something
[ 2010.01.15 06:39:04 ] STWizard > before i quit, there will be nothing left
[ 2010.01.15 06:39:12 ] Paul Clavet > because you misunderstand a great many fundamental things
[ 2010.01.15 06:39:41 ] STWizard > well i am not used to being lied to
[ 2010.01.15 06:39:58 ] STWizard > i tell the truth and expect the same, usually
[ 2010.01.15 06:40:14 ] Paul Clavet > Then Eve may not be for you
[ 2010.01.15 06:40:26 ] STWizard > but i have learned this, not everyone is like that
[ 2010.01.15 06:40:33 ] STWizard > I will adapt
[ 2010.01.15 06:40:44 ] STWizard > I like this game
[ 2010.01.15 06:41:55 ] STWizard > come in contact with people who are free to do things they are not really free to do in life
[ 2010.01.15 06:42:21 ] Paul Clavet > Yep, I’m actually a terrible person IRL but can only show my true colors here
[ 2010.01.15 06:42:52 ] STWizard > that is precicely what i was getting at
[ 2010.01.15 06:43:34 ] Paul Clavet > Truly you are a masterful judge of character
[ 2010.01.15 06:43:37 ] STWizard > in a way, here you get to see what people would really be like if life would let them
[ 2010.01.15 06:43:48 ] STWizard > no i am not
[ 2010.01.15 06:44:01 ] Paul Clavet > The dark passages of my heart are laid bare before your seering judgment
[ 2010.01.15 06:44:09 ] STWizard > but i am pretty good at analysis of data and facts and events
[ 2010.01.15 06:44:27 ] Paul Clavet > Wreched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of unrighteousness?
[ 2010.01.15 06:44:42 ] STWizard > if i was a good judge of character, i would have let the ship go and kept the 150M
[ 2010.01.15 06:45:42 ] STWizard > what i do know, is that money both in eve and IRL is a good way to find out what people are about
[ 2010.01.15 06:45:48 ] Paul Clavet > If you were a good judge of anything you would have not sent me more money after I betrayed you once
[ 2010.01.15 06:47:47 ] STWizard > I am soooo not used to betrayal
[ 2010.01.15 06:48:53 ] STWizard > as i said in my part of the real world the people i associate with have honor
[ 2010.01.15 06:49:12 ] Paul Clavet > I see
[ 2010.01.15 06:49:23 ] STWizard > if i had read your bio, and the name of the corp, i would not have sent the first 100M
[ 2010.01.15 06:49:38 ] STWizard > much less the second. it is pretty plain
[ 2010.01.15 06:50:05 ] Paul Clavet > I thought you were an excellent judge of facts and events?
[ 2010.01.15 06:50:49 ] STWizard > the good news is that you were at least honest about being honorless, hehehe
[ 2010.01.15 06:51:03 ] STWizard > not judge, analysis
[ 2010.01.15 06:51:37 ] STWizard > i was negotiating, and not checking you out
[ 2010.01.15 06:51:54 ] STWizard > i didn’t see the corp till i was in station in my capsule, hehehe
[ 2010.01.15 06:52:05 ] Paul Clavet > So when you make a deal, the other party starts shooting anyway, you still trust them to be honest in the NEXT deal?
[ 2010.01.15 06:52:11 ] STWizard > was busy fighting and calling out for help
[ 2010.01.15 06:52:58 ] Paul Clavet > Most of your corpmates run missions as well?
[ 2010.01.15 06:53:36 ] STWizard > sometimes one can appeal to reason and people sometimes act in magnamity mercifully
[ 2010.01.15 06:54:04 ] STWizard > most of them do, but they are more advanced than i
[ 2010.01.15 06:54:09 ] STWizard > in the game
[ 2010.01.15 06:55:24 ] Paul Clavet > Where do most of them hang out?
[ 2010.01.15 06:57:08 ] STWizard > we really act independantly most of the time, today i was doing missions with a corpmate then he left and i did on on my own
[ 2010.01.15 06:57:26 ] STWizard > and was salfaging, oh, shit i gotta turn that one in, hehehe
[ 2010.01.15 06:57:34 ] Paul Clavet > do you guys have a website or anything?

Remember when I told you it would get better? Well, here it is!

[ 2010.01.15 06:58:43 ] STWizard > dude, did you get the reports? I need them to turn in the mission
[ 2010.01.15 06:59:06 ] Paul Clavet > tee hee
[ 2010.01.15 07:00:45 ] STWizard > wow, that was a total win, hehehe, you did good on this one, I can’t believe how vulnerable i was.
[ 2010.01.15 07:01:24 ] STWizard > please trade the reports
[ 2010.01.15 07:01:46 ] Paul Clavet > That will be 20 million ISK, please.
[ 2010.01.15 07:01:51 ] Paul Clavet > Otherwise you’ll have to fail the mission
[ 2010.01.15 07:02:50 ] STWizard > dude, the mission bonus is 500,000
[ 2010.01.15 07:03:04 ] Paul Clavet > but you’ll take a faction hit.
[ 2010.01.15 07:03:09 ] Paul Clavet > How much are they worth to you?
[ 2010.01.15 07:04:08 ] STWizard > they are worth the mission bonus to me, 504,000, i will just do more missons to get the standings, how much of a hit? Never failed a mission before
[ 2010.01.15 07:04:43 ] Paul Clavet > enough that it’ll take about ten missions to regain them
[ 2010.01.15 07:04:49 ] Paul Clavet > more if it’s a storyline
[ 2010.01.15 07:04:52 ] Paul Clavet > but I don’t think yours was
[ 2010.01.15 07:05:08 ] Paul Clavet > Tell you what
[ 2010.01.15 07:05:09 ] Paul Clavet > 10M
[ 2010.01.15 07:05:13 ] Paul Clavet > I’m about to go to bed
[ 2010.01.15 07:05:15 ] STWizard > ok, all of the isk, the other part, the reward is 442,000, i will add that, and just take the LP and keep faction
[ 2010.01.15 07:05:41 ] Paul Clavet > 10 million or I’ll just add them to my trophy collection and let you fail your mission
[ 2010.01.15 07:05:48 ] Paul Clavet > depends on what your time is worth, up to you
[ 2010.01.15 07:06:03 ] STWizard > alright, 10M
[ 2010.01.15 07:06:12 ] STWizard > damn, you are tough

For the uninitiated: Keep in mind that Reports is not a unique item, but rather can be bought for essentially pennies off the market.

That’s about it for the actual story. I’ll include the rest of the chat log here if you want to see more boneheadedness on his part, but it’s not anything that you couldn’t get from any other PLEX-selling underachiever.